Victoria's journey with Stage 3 Lyme Disease

More about the foot baths!

2012-01-20T16:16:00.000-06:00

Does anyone know why posts will just disappear?? The really long post about my story just disappeared..if you try to click on it at the top of my blog it says that post can't be found. I guess it's gone forever?

More about the detox foot baths! No, they do not hurt! It's a 30 minute session and most people feel better after it and do feel lighter. I will eventually get to that point, but right now it still makes me feel bad just because my body is so toxic and it stirs things up. But most people feel good! It does feel good to know that all those nasty toxins are now OUT of me!! During the treatment, you just sit there with your feet in the water. You don't feel anything coming out! You should all try it! It's $30 dollars for 30 minutes. Afterwards, you can choose to have coconut lotion rubbed on your legs and feet. It's just like the spa! Not really, but it sounds like it.

I can give you more information about the foot baths if you want! Let me know if you have more questions!

Detoxing Foot Baths

2012-01-19T16:58:00.001-06:00

Warning- If you have a weak stomach, don't look at these pictures!

Before the treatment

After

That is what came out of my body! The pores on the bottom of your feet are the biggest in the body, so it's great to detox from.

The treatment consists of a tub, salt water, and a machine thing. The black machine attached to the cord does something with the ions in the water (I'm not exactly sure how to explain it) Through osmosis, the ions go into the body, binding to toxins, and then drawing them out through the feet into the water. The different colors that come out show where the toxins came from. Last week (which is when the pictures were taken), toxins from my joints and liver came out. I think the orange is from joints and the darker color is liver. The stuff on top is yeast. Each time you do it, toxins from different places will come out. Today a lot from my liver came out.

I get a massage first to encourage the lymph system to start working again. Right now it's pretty painful still. After the massage I go get a foot bath. I'm doing this twice a week, and then do IV fluids at home the days I don't do those treatments. I haven't been doing a lot lately. The treatments wipe me out. I love getting to see people at the clinic here! I hadn't gone there for about 2 or 3 years, but now it seems like I never left. Today these two ladies and I were having a party during our foot baths! We even got free drinks! Aka electrolytes. The foot baths can make you dehydrated, so you have to really work on drinking a lot of water.

Today I just realized that there is a machine in the water that is plugged in...how do we not get electrocuted?? Interesting thought. Good thing that's never happened!

School and treatments.

2012-01-12T16:38:00.002-06:00

Wow. It has been an interesting week. I started the antibiotics for bronchitis a week ago yesterday. By Thursday, I started having more joint pain, fatigue, and weakness. I didn't realize that Zithromax is used to kill Lyme too. Thankfully I had meds left over from various things to help the symptoms.

All I did from Wednesday until Monday was nothing. I did a couple of IVs over the weekend. I was supposed to move back into the dorms over the weekend. I had been trying to figure what classes to take and all that, and by Monday I knew that I just couldn't do what I had planned. We decided that I would stay at home this semester and only take one class. Obviously that is a very hard decision, but I know it's the right choice. The class that I am taking is Bible with the same teacher I had last semester! It's on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Yesterday I also got signed up for another online Bible Class. Since I go to a Christian College, we are required to take a certain amount of Bible classes to graduate. This semester will add 4 hours of Bible! If I can handle those classes okay, I might take another online class from a community college and it will count towards my degree at Oklahoma Christian.

Yesterday I also moved my stuff out of the dorms. I had a car full of things to take home. My roommate and our neighbor helped me move out. They helped so much. Thankfully I had brought a lot home over the break, so I didn't have all of my stuff there since I hadn't moved back in yet. So now I am officially living off campus.

My parents talked to my Lyme doctor in Reno Tuesday night. This fall I've had some weird symptoms come up such as my skin hurting, swollen and painful lymph nodes, and lots of allergic reactions to things. My doctor said that everything is due to my body being too toxic. The reason that I've gotten sinus infections, the flu, and bronchitis are because my immune system can't fight anything because of all the toxins. The reason that I'm hurting so much, so weak, and just feeling crummy is because my body is overwhelmed with toxins. The fast heart rate, shakiness, fatigue, leg numbness, rashes, neuropothy are all from the built up toxins.

Today I started treatments again at a clinic here that does some of the same things that I do in Reno, such as detox foot baths and lymphatic drainage. Today I just did the detox foot bath. I know that sounds relaxing and all, but it's really not. Detoxing stirs up everything and makes you feel very sick. I know I will have to get worse before I get better.

I will write a post about the treatments I will do at this clinic later. I'm not feeling very well from today's treatment so I'll post more about it later! I'm done with the antibiotics, but they stay in my system for another week, so we're hoping once those get out of my system I will start to feel a little better and not be in as much pain. I'm also fixing to do IV fluids once home health delivers the supplies!

Great doctors appointment and bronchitis. And a mission!

2012-01-05T12:28:00.000-06:00

I had a post op appointment yesterday. And no, you didn't miss anything! My last abdominal surgery was in September. I guess they just missed me so much and wanted to see me again! Just kidding. They want to see their patients 3 months after surgery. I was so excited to go and tell them that I don't have pain! Well, no pain in their area of speciality, meaning no abdominal pain. I saw the PA who has helped with my 2 surgeries and everything. She's great! She said, "I'm so excited to go tell the doctor! It will make him so happy!" It was a great moment!

Finally, a year and 2 abdominal surgeries later, I am abdominal pain free! For a while, I was going to see them (obgyn) every week. There were many days spent in an exam room with tears pouring down my face because we (doctor and several PAs included) didn't know what to do to stop the pain. We also talked to them several times on the phone when I was in Reno last spring.

This is the same doctor who pretty much saved my life last December (2010). Everyone else had said that my appendix was fine because the tests were normal. They said it was just a cyst. When I saw this doctor for the first time last December, he knew something was not right. Two days later I was admitted to the hospital because the pain was so bad. Then he did exploratory surgery the next week. He said that my appendix was huge and was going to burst at anytime. Along with taking my appendix out, he took out an orange sized cyst, bleeding that filled my abdomen from a ruptured cyst, and lots of endometriosis. He was shocked that there were that many things wrong at my age and that no one had caught them. We are so thankful that he went with his first instinct and did the surgery when he did. If we would have waited even another day, he said I would have been in big trouble.

Unfortunately, the cysts kept coming back so we spent from January of last year till September trying to control the cysts which ended with another surgery this past September. They've spent a lot of time with me this past year. They have always seen me bent over in pain with my arms wrapped around my stomach. But today was different! It was wonderful!

I've had a cough for 2 and a half weeks now and it was time to see a doctor about it. I asked the doctor if she would listen to my lungs yesterday, even though she's an obgyn and that's not what I was there for. I really didn't want to go to another doctor yesterday. She was so sweet and said she would! She listened to my lungs and did a few other things and said that I have bronchitis. She gave me a prescription for antibiotics and cough medicine. I started all that this afternoon, so I'm really hoping I'll start feeling better in a day or two.

There is a group called the Infectious Diseases Society of America. To get to the point, they are the ones causing all the problems for Lyme patients. Ignoring Lyme, telling physicians that it doesn't exist, denying treatment, and shutting down doctors who do treat chronic Lyme. Yesterday on their facebook page, they said, "what would you like to see from your society in the coming year?" Someone had the great idea to storm their page with comments to acknowledge Lyme, treat it, and stop messing around! So far there are over 500 posts about Lyme! It would be great if you would go to their page and write a simple comment about anything having to do with Lyme. It can be as simple as "treat Lyme" or as detailed at how you've seen Lyme affect someone. Here is the link if you would like to help!! Thank you so much!!!

http://www.facebook.com/IDSociety/posts/357764004239867

Introducing...

2012-01-03T14:54:00.002-06:00

Squirt Jr! (aka my new IV pole)

I hope you remember Squirt Sr. who was with us for about 2 years.

Squirt Sr. lived a very full life. He and I started our journey together in 2009 when I got my PICC line.

We then continued our journey when I got my port.

He got to go on walks to the mailbox, and even a walk or two halfway down the street. He got to help play the Wii too! You have to look closely, but he's on the left in this picture.

He even got to go to Florida on vacation with my Family in 2010!

Squirt Sr. has been gone since early 2011, which is why I've had to become creative in where to hang the IV. One day the home health company just came and took Squirt Sr. away. It was a very sad day. So since early 2011, I have been without an IV pole.

Well last Thursday we finally got everything set up with home health again! That is when Squirt Jr. got here! Squirt Jr. doesn't have a pump on it, which means it rolls so much better and goes a lot higher! It's so exciting!

Home health delivers a weeks worth of supplies at a time! We switched to a new company because the one we used previously was over charging us every time. The guy who delivered the supplies was so nice. He gave us all of his numbers and told us to call if we needed anything. He said it's not all about money and he really wants to help. He will deliver supplies anytime I need it. We told him about our ER experience last week and how we waited 4 hours just to get IV fluids. He said that he doesn't want that to happen again, and to call him immediately if we are out of supplies and he will do everything he can to keep me from going to the ER for fluids.

We also got new health insurance and so with this new company, it is a lot cheaper. I've been approved for 2 bags of IV fluids a week. I then decide when to do them. So I did one Friday and then yesterday (Monday). Home health delivers the IV bags, IV tubing, the needle to access my port, along with other supplies needed to access my port, and pre-drawn syringes of saline and heparin that are used to flush my port with before and after IVs.

The IV tubing is different than the one that the previous company used. I love it!! Here are a couple of pictures.

The dial is the best thing! Instead of just guessing at how fast the IV is dripping, or having to use a pump, you turn this dial to whatever speed you want. The numbers represent mL (milliliters), which is what the amount that fluids are measured in. A whole bag of fluids is 1000 mL. So on the dial on the tubing, the numbers start at 10 and go to 250 around the dial. You can go as slow as 10mL per hour or as fast as you want. In the picture above, I have it set at open which means the fluids run as fast as they can. That's how they do it at the hospital. When I'm at home, I usually run the fluids at 200 or 250mL per hour, so I turn the dial to 200 or 250. I love how you know exactly how fast it's going in instead of just guessing! Yesterday I ran them slower so it took me about 5 hours to get through the whole bag. If you just let it run like the hospital does, you can get through a bag in 30-45 minutes.

Here's one more picture of Squirt Jr.

I'm glad that Squirt Sr. is getting to rest peacefully. He was getting a little rusty and liked to be carried instead of pulled because the wheels didn't work well. I've missed him, but I know Squirt Jr. and I will have a lot of fun together! Squirt Jr. is much easier to take anywhere! Heres to lots more fun adventures while doing something that's not so fun. I think Squirt Jr. is ready for the challenge!

Happy New Year!

2012-01-01T16:55:00.000-06:00

Happy New Year! I don't know about you, but I'm ready for a new year! There have been many blessings in 2011, but there have been many trials and a lot of suffering. Here are the best and worst things from each month in 2011.

January

Best- Going to Winterfest in Dallas with my youth group for a weekend
Worst- Several ER trips with more cysts

February

Best- Surprise birthday party for me at midnight during a youth lock-in at church!
Worst- More ER trips and more pain with cysts

March

Best- My brother and dad got to come to Reno, Nevada while my mom and I were there at my Lyme doctor. We got to spend a weekend at Lake Tahoe with them.
Worst- Being is so much pain from an orange size cyst while getting treatments in Reno. I had to be on so much pain medicine that I was not myself. My mom and I flew to Reno on March 8th. We just bought one way tickets. I also had to go to the ER a few days after we got there.

April

Best- My dad and brother surprised us and visited us again!
Worst- More pain and another ER trip. Still getting treatments in Reno

May

Best- Coming home from Reno on May 7th after being there for 2 long months
Worst- Being in the ICU for several days a couple weeks after being home from Reno because of a severe medicine interaction caused by the ER. I had gone to the ER 4 days in a row before being admitted to the ICU

June

Best- Finishing high school online, enrolling in college, and doing an article for the Oklahoma newspaper about Lyme
Worst- Struggling with symptoms because I had to be taken off all of my medicines while in ICU.

July

Best- Landon being baptized and my graduation reception on the same day!
Worst- Lots of joint and body pain

August

Best- Starting college after being out of school for almost 3 years. Taking one class a day.
Worst- More ER trips because of another cyst

September

Best- Finally getting abdominal pain under control after another surgery
Worst- Another abdominal surgery (3rd in a year) on September 19th and trying to go to school while hurting so much

October

Best- Spending time with friends
Worst- Still trying to recover from surgery and go back to school

November

Best- Getting to meet 2 new friends who also have Lyme
Worst- Getting the flu and having to go to the ER while my parents were out of the country. Missing 2 weeks of school because of the flu

December

Best- Finishing school for the semester
Worst- Getting sick with another virus for a couple of weeks, which I still have. Going to the ER last week.

I love this verse and it's perfect as the new year starts.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." -Jeremiah 29:11-13

I pray that this year is the best one yet for all of us!

Crazy ER trip

2011-12-29T15:48:00.000-06:00

For a little over a week I've had a cough on and off. It's gotten pretty deep at times, but it hasn't been consistent enough to go to the doctor. We've just been doing a nice little homemade cough syrup which takes care of it. I just haven't been feeling great the past few weeks.

On Tuesday I woke up feeling weak and worn out. I took a shower and then went to lay on the couch. I continued to feel worse. It began getting harder and harder to walk because I was so weak. It kept getting worse and got to the point where I couldn't walk from the couch to the kitchen. My body felt limp and it was hard to control my body. My heart started pounding so I had my mom listen to it. My heart rate was 150-165bpm even when I was just resting.

My dad was running errands so he stopped by my primary care doctor because they weren't answering their phones. They didn't have any openings that day so they told me to go to the urgent care doctor. Both of my parents went with me. We got there around 4pm I think. I had a little fever and my heart rate and blood pressure were still high (and my blood pressure is usually low, not high). The doctor there told us to go to the hospital. She was worried about my heart rate and severe weakness with fever. So off we went.

We got to the hospital, got checked in, and went through triage. They actually accessed my port this time! I was so dehydrated and they couldn't find any veins. They made my mom help them since they don't access ports a lot. The nurse had to stick the needle in twice because he didn't get it in right. He was so nice and caring though. They drew blood, gave me nausea medicine, and sent me to the waiting room.

The waiting room was so crowded. Apparently Tuesday was their trauma day. The hospitals rotate trauma days, which means that all the trauma gets sent to that hospital. Someone said each hospital has trauma days every 4 days. There were 44 people waiting to be seen in the ER, and 16 rooms. Plus any emergencies that came in an ambulance or helicopter. One lady told us that 8 new ER rooms were opening up next week. Uh thanks for sharing that, but that does us no good right now.

After about 3 and a half hours of waiting in the waiting room, we decided to go to another hospital. We were told that there were still at least 5 people in front of me, plus any emergencies that came in. We called a new hospital that is closer to our house and there was no wait. We told the triage nurses that we were leaving. Then, all the sudden they had a bed open for me. Coincidence? No. They didn't want us to leave. Well, my bed was in the hall. There were a couple of beds in the hall. The doctor came over and talked to us very briefly and then put in the orders for the medicine and fluids. My nurse was taking care of the patient in the bed next to me who had a head injury. My nurse was very nice, but took a little too much time with them. She was looking up pizza places on her iPhone for them and talking about everything with them. I'm glad that she's so sweet and actually cares for her patients, but it was a little crazy and our patience had already worn out.

So another nurse stepped in and got my meds. The doctor ordered 2 bags (2 liters) of fluids, and Dilauded and Valium. We aren't really sure why he gave me all that medicine, but we didn't argue. I had been really upset and scared because of my symptoms and because we had been waiting so long with me feeling that bad. They started the fluids and ran the 2 bags at once. Then they gave me the Dilauded and Valium, and for the first time in a long time, I wasn't hurting and I was relaxed and calm. But it made me feel really weird. That's just a lot of medicine. My heart calmed down but then shot back up so I started worrying again. But the nurse said that is normal with narcotics and . Your body is kinda shocked for a while so your heart rate goes up, and then it calms back down.

My nurse got the discharge papers early so that we could leave as soon as the fluids were done.

Finally, 8 hours after we started the whole process, I got to go home. We got home a little after midnight. I was able to walk upstairs and go to bed.

I was so dehydrated that I didn't have to go to the bathroom all night even after the 2 liters of fluids.

The doctor sent me home with a prescription for a muscle relaxer that is also given to MS patients because it helps calm the central nervous system. It helps relax the muscles and nerves, plus a lot of other things. When I got really weak Tuesday, my whole body felt restless. I took the medicine last night around 8 and wow it is strong! My eyes got all blurry and I fell asleep on the couch. Around 9:30, I went to bed and slept until 10 this morning. Ever since I got the cough last week I have not been sleeping well. But I slept so well last night! I will definitely be taking that for a while. It says to take it 2 or 3 times a day for discomfort or pain.

The doctors said I have a virus that is causing all the symptoms. I'm doing better now, but I'm still just resting a lot. I think I'm just exhausted from all that I did for Christmas, plus the virus. I'm praying that my body gets over this virus soon and that I start to feel a lot better.

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-28T16:41:00.000-06:00

How was your Christmas? We had a great Christmas!! Friday was my dad's birthday so we went out to eat and to see a movie. We saw We Bought a Zoo and it was so cute!

On Saturday we had Christmas with my dad's side of the family! We went to my grandparents house with my aunts, uncles, and cousins. All of them live in our neighborhood or the neighborhood next to us so it is great! Unfortunately, I forgot to take any pictures there. We had a great day together.

Saturday night we had Christmas at my house with just my mom, dad, brother, and I. We had lots of appetizers and snacks, then opened presents.

Our Christmas tree

Sunday morning we woke up and went to church! I loved having Christmas on a Sunday. We just had one worship service Sunday morning which is always our favorite. Usually we have two services on Sundays, but on holidays we only have one. The auditorium is packed full and the singing is beautiful. We don't use instruments during worship, and the acapella singing is some of the prettiest singing you will ever hear. Two thousand plus people singing together will make you tear up. Everyone was so happy on Christmas and it was very joyful!

After church we had Christmas with my mom's side of the family! We had our traditional Christmas lunch and then opened presents and played games!

Landon, Tucker, and I

My grandparents with Landon and I

After we left my grandparents house that night we drove by a house in Edmond that always has the most Christmas lights.

Across the street from this house, there was this sign in their neighbors yard.

I hope you had the best Christmas ever! I'm so thankful for the gift of Jesus. I hope that we will be thankful for Him everyday, and not just on Christmas.

All we want for Christmas....

2011-12-21T15:49:00.000-06:00

For most people that are chronically sick, the holidays are the hardest times of the year physically, but most of all emotionally.

I've been talking to my friends with Lyme or other diseases and we all want the same thing for Christmas. We want to be healed. We want to wake up on Christmas morning and be able to run downstairs like we used to. We want to wake up on Christmas morning and not have to worry about our medicine schedules. We want to wake up on Christmas morning and for the first time since we got sick, not be in enough pain that requires pain medicine. We want to wake up on Christmas morning and know that we will actually have memories from that day. Because of the disease or medicines, there are a lot of days that we don't remember. We want to wake up on Christmas morning and have energy again to run around and play with our younger cousins like we used to. We want to wake up on Christmas morning and not have to worry about the fatigue that might make us cut family time short. We just want to not be in pain all the time. And we're not talking about relief that comes from pain medicine. We want to be pain free without medicine that makes us not ourselves.

When people ask us what we want for Christmas, we don't really know what to say. We want something that can't be bought. Nothing material that we can be given will truly make us happy.

My friend Allison says, "The hardest part is knowing that I'm probably NOT going to remember any of it (Christmas)".

My friend Rebecca says, "To me being sick around Christmas means that you can't really go anywhere cause you will never know how you will feel and what you would be able to do".

But when we really think about it, our view on Christmas has completely changed since we got sick. It has changed for the better. We are more thankful for what we do have. We realize that Christmas isn't about material things even if the world says it is.

"My view of Christmas is that I am grateful for what I have and I don't really care how much stuff I get it's just the thought that counts," Rebecca says.

Caity says, "I don't really want any gifts. I'd rather people give my gifts to people that are suffering."

Even though we want this so badly, we know that we were already given the best gift we could ask for. We have been given the gift of Christ. Through Him, we have been given hope. Through Him we have been given joy. Through Him we have been given peace. Through Him we have been given a promise. We have been promised that if we follow Him, we WILL be healed one day. Our one Christmas wish has already been granted, even though it might not happen in this lifetime.

I think sometimes we think that we should just trust God's plan and that is enough. That is true. But it's still okay to ask for a miracle and for God to heal us on earth. God wants us to ask Him.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

"And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith.” Matthew 21:22
This year we will be more thankful for the gifts and thoughtfulness of people. We will be more thankful that we are here with family and friends. We will be more thankful for the gift of Jesus and what that means for us.

So really, this Christmas we have what we want plus much more. We just have to change our perspective. If we hadn't gotten sick, we might still be wrapped up in the earthly things around this time of year. We are so blessed to have this new perspective, even though we wish things were different.

Done with the semester!

2011-12-17T13:13:00.000-06:00

I am officially done with school for the semester! I'm ready for a break. Yes, I know I've had way too many breaks this semester because of surgery, the flu, and just sickness. But that doesn't really count since I still had lots of school work to do because of all the missed school. I now have absolutely nothing to do! Except play Hanging with Friends, Words with Friends, all those addicting Iphone games, and watch tv. So actually I have a LOT to do. It IS the most stressful time of the year. Just kidding. It would be nice if life was that simple.

We've been looking at Christmas lights a lot! Here are some pictures from around Chesapeake in OKC. A lot of them are blurry because we were driving past really fast, but you get the idea. They are amazing! They all change colors too.

Hope you are having a great weekend!

The book of Matthew

2011-12-13T14:42:00.001-06:00

I had my Bible final today and studied so hard for it! I got a 98 plus 18 or so extra credit points!

Bible has been one of my favorite classes. Everyone has to take a Bible class each semester. Before school started we all thought it would be a blow off class because we've grown up in church. That is not how it has been, and I'm glad! The title of my class was The Life of Christ. We studied mostly the book of Matthew. My friend and I were talking today about this. We've heard the story of Jesus our whole lives. We've read passages in Matthew. We've had Bible studies about it. But we've never spend months studying one topic. I have learned SO much. We started at the beginning and ended with the crucifixion and resurrection. It all is so much clearer. Before this class, I knew the basics of Jesus' life. I've never payed much attention to the details or why specific things are recorded in the Bible.

These are all things from my notes and class discussions. My teacher did a great job with pointing out things to us!

One of the first things we talked about was the genealogy of Jesus. Matthew 1:1 starts with listing Jesus' family line starting back at Abraham. I don't know about you, but every single time there is a genealogy in any book of the Bible, I just skip over it. It's not the most entertaining thing ever. But now I understand why it's there. First of all it allowed Jews to keep the heritage alive. It was also for legal purposes and rights. The main reason that Matthew uses it is to show that Jesus has a legal claim to the throne. He shows that Jesus is qualified to be the son of God because of his heritage and that He is the hope of Israel. Matthew is doing something significant by showing the kingly linage.

We looked at the government at the time of Jesus and how Jesus came at just the right time for God's plan to be fulfilled.

The last thing we studied was the last week of Jesus' life. Well the week before he was crucified and resurrected. Also known as the Passion Week.

Again, I have known this story my whole life. But we studied in depth. We learned about what happened on each day leading up to that Friday. Fun fact: In Matthew, Jesus' earthly mission took 20 chapters. The Passion Week took 8. Here's a few things that took place that week.

Sunday- Jesus enters Jerusalem on a donkey. Crowds threw down their garments and palm leaves and shouted, "Hosanna". The garments signify their submission to Jesus as King, the palm leaves signify Jewish nationalism and victory.
Monday-Jesus curses the fig tree. Jesus clears the temple because of moneychangers and vendors.
Tuesday-The religious leaders question Jesus' authority. Jesus teaches in the temple and is later anointed.
Wednesday- There are no records of this day, but many believe that Judas might have made the plans to betray Jesus that day.
Thursday- Passover meal with the disciples. The Last Supper. Jesus tells the disciples who will betray Him. Jesus prays at Gethsemane and is arrested sometime that night when Judas betrays Him with a kiss. Either late Thursday night, or early Friday morning Peter denies Jesus 3 times while Jesus is being questioned by Caiphas who is the High Priest.
Friday- Jesus has two trials. One before Herod Antipas and one before Pilate. Around 9am Jesus is nailed to the cross. Around 3pm Jesus dies. So that no one will break the law of the Sabbath, they bury Jesus before sundown on Friday. I think that's ironic. They don't want to break the Sabbath, but they kill Jesus.
Saturday- Jesus' body lies in the tomb.
Sunday-Jesus' tomb is found empty. He has risen from the dead!

When Jesus died on the cross, the curtain of the Temple to the Holy of Holies tore from top to bottom. The only person who could go in that room was the High Priest. BUT he could only go in there once a year on the day of Atonement. The veil represented the separation of God and man because of sin. Anyone entering the room was in the presence of God. Anyone besides the High Priest (who could only go in the room once a year) would die if they went into the room because God is too pure to be in the presence of sin. So when the veil was torn, God's presence was now assessable to all. "“Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body …let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith.” (Hebrews 10:19-22)

Also when Jesus died, the earth shook and the rocks split. We learned that the rocks were about half the size of our classroom which was huge. No one could just move rocks that big. Also, the tombs broke open and the bodies of many holy people who had died were raised.

After these things happened, how could anyone not believe that He was the son of God? In class we talked about how we wish there were more details about the holy people being raised to life..how long did they live after that??

On Sunday, just like he said Jesus rose from the dead! He beat death! In 1 Corinthians, we see what the resurrection means for us today. Our faith stands on the risen Jesus. It shows that we have forgiveness. It gives us hope, and it shows that death is conquered!

“'Where, O death, is your victory?
Where, O death, is your sting?'
⁵⁶ The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." 1 Corinthians 15:55-57

If you have a chance, go read 1 Corinthians 15.

These are just a few of the things that we studied! I can't wait for my Bible class next semester! I have the same teacher which will be great!

When you don't have an IV pole anymore...

2011-12-09T15:42:00.000-06:00

you can just hang your IV on the wall with a hanger!

Update coming soon!

3 Years

2011-12-03T13:08:00.000-06:00

This is probably the longest post I've ever written. Sorry it's so long.

3 years ago today I was diagnosed with Late Stage (or Stage 3, or Chronic) Lyme Disease in Reno, Nevada. I began treatments and since then have been fighting this disease.

Since December 3rd, 2008, I have spent a total 6 months in Reno, Nevada while receiving treatments. The longest consecutive time that I have spent there is 2 months, the shortest time is 2 weeks.

Last year and the year before on this day I made videos showing what each year had been like. This year I am just going to tell about it instead of making a video. If you haven't seen the videos, they are posted at the top of my blog under the header.

My video last year talked about everything up to December 3rd, 2010.

On December 4th of last year, I was admitted to Mercy Hospital because of severe abdominal pain. The pain started in November and I had made several ER trips since then. I was told that I had an ovarian cyst, but that my appendix was fine. I had just had my gallbladder out 3 months before.

So I spent Saturday Dec. 4th through Monday in Mercy Hospital for pain control while awaiting exploratory surgery.

My room in Mercy Hospital

I was discharged Monday afternoon and went to the surgeon (obgyn) first thing Tuesday morning. The doctor came in and said surgery will be at 5pm that day.

So on December 7th, we headed to another hospital for surgery.

My brother, nurse, and I before surgery(this nurse was actually my nurse again for my most recent abdominal surgery! She was great!)

On the way to the OR. Cute outfit huh? Probably the one of the most expensive outfits ever!

Surgery started at 5pm and lasted a little over an hour. My surgeon went to talk to my parents afterwards and was shocked with what he found. I had a cyst the size of an orange, my abdomen was filled with blood because of another cyst that had ruptured, my appendix was huge and infected even though tests said it was normal, and I had a ton of endometriosis. The surgeon said that we are very lucky that we did surgery then, because my appendix was going to rupture at anytime. I was able to go home a few hours after surgery.

A couple weeks after surgery I got a respiratory virus and went to the ER because the pain got so much worse, probably from all the coughing.

A few days later my youth group surprised me and came carolling at my house! It made me feel so special. I'm so blessed.

Recovery from surgery took about 5 weeks but was easier than my gallbladder surgery which was just 3 months earlier. I had 7 incisions on my abdomen from both surgeries.

I was doing great until I got another big cyst at the end of January. I was in the ER twice in one week.

I went to the ER again on February 10th for abdominal pain from another cyst.

My youth group had a prayer lock-in on February 25-26. Our church was doing 24 hours of prayer and the youth group took the middle of the night shifts. For 24 hours, at least 1 person from our church was praying! I turned 18 at midnight, and they threw me a surprise party! My family was there too!

This was after all the streamers and balloons were taken down.

I also got to go out to eat with lots of my friends for my birthday!

On March 8th, my mom and I flew to Reno, Nevada to the clinic. We only bought one way tickets since we didn't know how long I would have to be there.

The first day of treatments

Grayson and I. Grayson and his mom were at the clinic the whole time we were. Both of us had to stay at the clinic until late at night because we needed to be monitored or given more medicine to counteract reactions.

We were in Reno from March 8th to May 7th. Two months. During that time I went to the ER twice. I was not myself most of the time we were at the clinic because of all the pain medicine that I was having to be on. Those 2 months were some of the hardest times. We couldn't treat the Lyme because anything we did would cause the abdominal pain to get worse. Even with the IV and oral pain medicine I was still in a lot of pain from the cysts and trauma my abdomen had gone through. With 2 abdominal surgeries just 3 months apart, plus all of the cysts that had grown and ruptured, my abdomen was so inflamed and messed up.

After being in Reno for 2 months, my doctor said I needed rest. I got to go home but was on strict bed rest. A few days later the abdominal pain got so bad that I had to go to ER again. That was on Wednesday, May 11th. On Friday, all my muscles locked up and I was disfigured. It was so scary. We rushed to my primary care doctor but they immediately sent me to the ER. In the ER they immediately knew what was wrong. It was a severe allergic reaction to a muscle relaxer that they gave me in the ER on Wednesday. They started an IV and gave me Benedryl and Ativan while I was in the waiting room. I actually never went to a room. We couldn't believe how fast the medicine stopped the reaction. After 2 doses I was able to go home. The allergic reaction was called Dystonia. Here is what Wikipedia says about it. "Dystonia is a neurological movement disorder, in which sustained muscle contractions cause twisting and repetitive movements or abnormal postures". It was very scary and painful.

At home I was on Benedryl around the clock, but the reaction kept coming back. I was in the ER Saturday and Sunday. So I had gone to the ER Wednesday for the pain, then the allergic reaction caused me to be in the ER Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. The hospital didn't know what to do since the reaction wouldn't stay away. So they put me on a Parkinson's medicine..along with the around the clock Benedryl, Ativan, and my normal medicines which include a medicine used for sleep and pain that actually an old anti-depressant. I'm pretty sure the ER was tired of us coming back and they didn't know why the reaction was not staying away. So they pretty much overdosed me on all of the medicines to try and get the reaction to stop. I guess usually the reactions don't last that long...but you know how I love to be different and go to the hospital! Just kidding.

I think we got home from the ER late Sunday night. I don't remember Saturday through Monday because of all the medicine. On Tuesday, I started having what looked like seizures. My dad ran and got a nurse that lives across the street from us. She told us to go to the hospital immediately. After going to the ER on Wednesday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, we really didn't want to go again. But we knew this was more serious. I do remember when the nurse came over on Tuesday and I remember getting in the car and going to the hospital while I was shaking, but I don't remember much after that.

I'm told that when we got to the hospital I was very, very sick. I was still having seizure like activity, my heart rate was 140-160, my eyes were dilated and weren't responding to light, I had a high fever, my body stopped producing fluids (as in, I couldn't cry or sweat which caused my fever to be high). I would try to cry because I was hurting so much but tears wouldn't come out. I know I had a brain MRI in the ER to rule out anything there. They called in a neurologist to look at me. They finally figured out it was an anticholinergic toxicity or shock. Aka, I was over dosed and all the medicines interacted badly. And yes, the ER should have looked at all my medicines before putting me on so much.

I was then taken to the ICU. It took 6 hours for the doctors to stop the seizures. In the ICU I was given a lot of IV fluid to try and flush everything out. I was on Valium and Dilauded too. The Valium was to help stop the shaking and the Dilauded was to help my pain, and relax me too. It helped until it started to wear off and then it would come back but was pretty easily controlled. I was very confused the whole time in the ICU. I would ask where I was and why I was in the ICU every few minutes. I would cry but no tears would come. I was also very funny apparently. These are a few things that happened. I hope I remember them correctly. I only know what people have told me.

My parents would take my phone away because I would be texting seriously everyone in my phone. But somehow when they left the room I would get it back. I sent some weird things...how embarrassing. But everyone I texted knew I was in the ICU and a little drugged...
I thought I was in Disney World and that the bathroom was the Rainforest Cafe. How that happens I really don't know!
I was like a 2 year old. I would go from laughing and thinking I was in Disney World to a very confused and angry person. I had to be talked to as if I was 2 because I was just so crazy from all the medicines.
In the ICU when the nurses change shifts, they kick all the visitors out. That means that I was alone. On Valium and Dilauded. All the other patients in the ICU were intubated and sedated. I guess I didn't want to be there anymore so I decided to leave. I took off all my monitors which was a lot. I had heart monitors, blood pressure monitors, and oxygen monitors and IVs. I then walked out of my room. I don't think I got far, but yes, I tried to run out of the ICU.
I would be talking and then just fall asleep. Then when I would wake up I would sit up real fast and act like I hadn't been asleep. Apparently I just talked and talked and didn't make sense.
The ICU doctors and nurses didn't want me out of bed because of all the medicine I was on. That meant they wanted me to use a bed pan. I was having none of that. They didn't believe my parents that I can walk just fine even with all that medicine. The nurses and doctors were SHOCKED when they saw that I could walk with no problems even with all that medicine.

I was in the ICU from Tuesday until Thursday afternoon, and then I got moved to step down unit. I was there until Friday and then I got to go home. The neurologist was monitoring me the whole time I was in the hospital. The interesting thing is, we never got a bill from the ICU. I think the ER doctors realized it was their fault that I had the reaction so they were probably scared that we would sue them.

That next Sunday was Senior night at church. The senior guys that are graduating from high school lead worship, the elders give each of us a Bible, and we get to set up tables with things about us for a reception after church. I got to go! I was just in the ICU and released from the hospital Friday, and I got to go to church Sunday night! I was very weak, but I made it. I'm so glad I got to go.

My youth ministers

The next few weeks were great! I finished high school (online), enrolled in college, did a news interview about Lyme Disease, and took the ACT. I went to church camp with the youth group for a couple days.

Some of our good friends were visiting and came over to house in July.

Me, Landon, and Izabela

Bart was our adopted college student when he was in college and Landon and I were in he and Tamika's wedding. They have two beautiful kids and at the time had one on the way. When they came over, they wanted to tell us the baby's name. They wanted to name her Victoria Hope after me. I never thought that someone would ever be named after me! It's such a privilege. Baby V was born this fall. She is beautiful just like her family.

The next day, July 10th, my brother wanted to be baptized! He had been thinking about it for a while and was ready to give his life to Christ.

Taking his confession

My grandpa leading a prayer before the baptism

My dad baptized him

After the baptism

That same afternoon was my graduation reception at church. It was a perfect day! I'm so blessed to have so many people who love me and support me.

At my reception

My family and I went to Disney World at the beginning of August! We had a great time.

The view outside of our hotel room

After we got back from our trip I started physical therapy. However, I had to stop that because of more cyst problems.

On Saturday, August 13th I had to go to ER. It was another cyst. I had so much to do that week! I was moving to the dorms a week from then. Well just 3 days after the first ER trip, I went again that Wednesday. My cyst had ruptured.

I was still able to move into the dorms at Oklahoma Christian University on Saturday August 20th! I didn't plan to go to the ER twice the week that I moved in, but it all ended okay.

My dorm room

I'm only taking one class a day this semester. Going to school wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. I was already missing classes because of my health. The abdominal pain was so bad. We decided to do another exploratory surgery.

On Monday, September 19th, I was wheeled into the OR for my 3rd abdominal surgery in a year. This time my surgeon found more endometriosis and took it out.
I was at home recovering for 3 weeks. Catching up from missing that much school was challenging.

On October 6th I celebrated the 2 year anniversary with my port! My port has been great and has allowed us to do IVs at home!

We had trick or treating in the dorms on Halloween! We decorated our doors and the faculty, staff, and alumni brought their kids to trick or treat!

Rock paper scissors

On November 2nd I went to my primary care doctor because I was feeling terrible. My parents and brother were out of the country. My doctor said I had a virus like the flu and needed fluids. My grandparents took me to 2 after hours clinics to see if they could do fluids. They couldn't, and I was feeling worse so we went to the ER. I got 2 liters of fluid and lots of nausea and pain medicine. I was out of school for 2 weeks.

The view from my room in the ER

During that ER trip I received the worst IV I have ever had. How impressive is that bruise?! It was all colors of the rainbow at one point.

In the past couple weeks I have had 2 allergic reactions. One was from an anti-inflamatory and the other was from MSG in some food. The MSG reaction happened on Thanksgiving and took a few days to calm down.

Unfortunately I have missed 5 or so weeks of school this semester. I have had to stay at home for a total of 5 or 6 weeks. School has been great for me, but also a huge challenge. Trying to go to class and all the social activities is hard when you don't feel well. But I am so thankful to be able to go to school again, even if it is only one class a day. Missing almost 3 years of school is a lot. It's taken a while to adjust to going to school again while battling health challenges.

This past year has been hard. Honestly, the word that comes to mind when I think about the past year is pain. I don't remember a lot of the year because of all the pain medicine I have had to be on. So many days were spent just trying to get through the day without going to the ER because of all the pain. I was in the hospital when I should have been walking with my class at graduation. And even today I am in a lot of joint pain. Today I have a lot of questions about symptoms I'm having.

But this year has had so many blessings. I graduated high school after not physically going to school for almost 3 years. I started college. Earlier this year we didn't know if that would even happen. I have met some wonderful people! The article about me in the paper this summer put us in contact with so many people who have Lyme or know someone who does. Just in the past couple of months I got to meet 2 girls that are my age who have Lyme. We have the same problems from Lyme. It's almost creepy how similar we are. It's been great to have them to talk to.

So yes, I still have days when I question every thing that is happening. But I know God has plan.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" Jeremiah 29:11

Sometimes I just don't understand. But I'm not supposed to understand everything. I'm supposed to trust.

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart
   and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
   and he will make your paths straight" Proverbs 3:5-6

Some days I feel like I can't go on. But God is faithful.

"I remember my affliction and my wandering,
   the bitterness and the gall.
²⁰ I well remember them,
   and my soul is downcast within me.
²¹ Yet this I call to mind
   and therefore I have hope:
²² Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
   for his compassions never fail.
²³ They are new every morning;
   great is your faithfulness.
²⁴ I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion;
   therefore I will wait for him.” Lamentations 3:19-24

"Though the fig tree does not bud
   and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
   and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
   and no cattle in the stalls,
¹⁸ yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
   I will be joyful in God my Savior.

¹⁹ The Sovereign LORD is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to go on the heights." Habakkuk 3:17-19

"Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. ⁹ But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ¹⁰ That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:8-10

I want to thank you all for the comments and support. It means so much to me. Some days I just get on here and read previous comments and it cheers me up!

These are a couple of songs that I love. I know I've shared them before but they are so good.

Praise You in this Storm by Casting Crowns
"I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm"

Carry Me by Audrey Assad
"Pain is a forest we all get lost in
Between the branches hope can be so hard to see
And in the darkness we've all got questions
We're all just trying to make sense out of suffering but

You say I am blessed because of this
So, I choose to believe
As I carry this cross, You'll carry me
You get glory in the midst of this
And You're walking with me
And you say I am blessed because of this
So, I choose to believe
As I carry this cross, You'll carry me"

So, "My flesh and my heart may fail, but GOD is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73:26

Christmas Lights

2011-11-30T20:10:00.000-06:00

Last weekend my brother and dad spent almost all day putting up Christmas lights at our house. They look amazing!! My brother planned it all out and he did a great job!

Last night at school we had the Lighting of the Commons. I think there were around 500 alumni, faculty and staff, and students. There was hot chocolate, Christmas music performed by different singing groups on campus, pictures with Santa, and real carrage rides!

We all gathered outside and counted down to when they turned on all the Christmas Lights. Then we sang Christmas Carols! I really didn't get any good pictures of all the lights. But here is one...it doesn't show much.

The tall tower in the middle is the clock tower. It changes colors at night!

Alex and I

I love this time of year!

Thanksgiving

2011-11-29T13:30:00.001-06:00

I know this is almost a week late, but it's been a little crazy. We had a great Thanksgiving. I got home last Monday so I had a week off. I did have a class that day but I didn't go since I still wasn't feeling well. Both of my parents had most of Wednesday off of work so we were all at home. It was like 70 degrees that day! We went to church Wednesday night. My brother read a scripture and my dad said a prayer during the service. On Thanksgiving we went to my aunt and uncles house (dad's side) and on Friday we went to my grandparents on my mom's side. Thursday night I decided that I wanted some Roman Noodles...I know that it was thanksgiving and that there were a million other delicious foods. But that whole day I really didn't feel like eating much. I had bites of stuff and it was great, but food just didn't sound good. So later that night I decided that I wanted Roman Noodles. Crazy, I know. Well and hour later we were watching tv and I got so sick. My heart rate shot up to 130, my face was so red and itchy and burning, I was dizzy, my chest hurt, my eyes were swollen, and I was so scared. It hit so fast. I thought I was going to pass out. My parents took turns listening to my heart with a stethiscope while running to the gas station to get benadryll. The benadryll really didn't do much. It might have slowed my heart a little. We didn't know what else to try and by this time I was freaking out. We tried hydrocodone and that finally relaxed me enough to calm the symptoms down. My parents think it was the MSG in the Roman Noodles. How wonderful. That teaches you that you should really eat good thanksgiving food and not go for the nasty, packaged stuff.

I slept in my parents room with my mom. My dad got to sleep on the couch (happy thanksgiving dad!). Thanks to the benadryll and hydrocodone, I thought there were earthquakes all night whenever the bed would move. Gotta love what medicine will do to you!

I woke up Friday morning and my eyes were still swollen. I actually felt pretty good. As we were getting ready to leave to go to my grandparents, I started not feeling well again. I took more benadryll and it helped. The symptoms returned that afternoon and finally calmed down later that after evening after more medicine.

Saturday night the symptoms came back with a couple more symptoms. After a couple hours they calmed down too. Sunday was better. I came back to the dorms yesterday and only have 2 weeks of school left.

Lesson learned: Don't ever eat Roman Noodles on thanksgiving....

Update

2011-11-19T15:47:00.000-06:00

It feels like this has been the slowest week ever. I finally moved back on campus last Friday after being at home for almost 2 weeks with the flu. This past week I had 2 papers due and a test, which is a little crazy since I'm only taking 3 classes. By Thursday I was done with everything!

This week has been a hard week because of pain issues. Monday I was working on one of my papers and had to stop because my hands were hurting too much to use them. The body and joint pain all over has been bad. I'm hoping that it's from either the weather changes or my body still getting rid of the flu because that's when I started hurting more. Thursday night I decided to take an anti-inflammatory instead of just pain medicine to see if that would help more. An hour or so after I took it, I broke out with a red rash all over me. My skin burned and itched so much and I was very nauseous. I took a prescription medicine like benedryll since I was out of benedryll. It stopped the rash and most of the burning and itching. However, my body was still not happy. I was up almost ALL night because I just felt weird. I finally fell asleep around 6am for a couple of hours and woke up at 8am or so. I decided to try and get up and get dressed for class. I then realized that that wouldn't be happening. I couldn't move. At all. My body hurt so much that I couldn't bear to move. I also had temperature problems. It's hard to explain, but I'm hot and cold kind of like when you have a fever. You're cold, but sweating. There's no way to get comfortable. I didn't really know what to do since everyone was in class and I couldn't get up. I laid there for a couple of hours while waiting for the medicine to kick in. After a couple of hours I was finally able to get up. I went to the bathroom and then got back in bed. I was still hurting too much to do anything.

I asked one of my friends to get me lunch because I knew I had to eat. For the rest of the afternoon all I could do was lay in bed. I had to pick up a prescription so I made it to the pharmacy and back. Obviously I didn't go to class yesterday which was okay since we had just turned in our paper.

I actually slept last night and slept until 11 this morning. Once again, I woke up feeling like I got into a fight in my sleep. Thankfully I was able to shower and get lunch, but that has been the extent of my activities today. Today has been better than yesterday, but is still very rough.

Tomorrow will be better.

2011-11-15T20:32:00.000-06:00

On Saturday I finally got to meet Caity, aka my twin! She has Lyme and we have had almost all of the same problems. Some of her family lives here and saw my story in the newspaper. They told Caity and her family about me because it was like they were reading Caity's story because we are so similar. Caity and her mom then found me on facebook! Caity had abdominal surgery 2 days after I did in September so that's when we started texting back and forth. We text almost everyday and it's so wonderful to have her to talk to!

It was wonderful to be able to meet them in person! So blessed to know her and her family.

Warning:these pictures will make you not want to go to the ER...

2011-11-11T16:24:00.000-06:00

Wait. When does anyone actually want to the go to the ER? (There have been times where I have begged to go to the ER because I was hurting so much, but I didn't want to go there)

Once upon a time there was a nurse. This nurse was supposed to learn how do IVs while she was in school. She was supposed to learn when IVs are okay, and when they are not. Unfortunately, this nurse did not learn how to tell the difference between a good IV and a bad IV. Therefore, this happened.

At my last ER trip, I was very dehydrated. The nurse couldn't find any veins and couldn't use my port, so she put the IV in the worst place possible. In a tiny vein on my thumb on my right hand. Usually needles don't bother me. This one did! Wow. Most painful IV ever. After she drew blood and put the IV in, I was sent out to the waiting room. They usually do that to save time. They put the IV in and just don't hook it up to anything yet. I had had enough of the pain from it in the waiting room so I finally told someone to look at it. She said, "Oh sweetie that looks terrible. I'll be right back." Then she came back and said they would be taking me back soon and they'll start another IV. I was relieved. Well soon actually meant another hour. I was not very happy. I was about to pull the IV out myself.

Once in my room several people looked at it and agreed it looked terrible. So they looked at my veins and tried once. Here's what happened then.

So I decided to just deal with the first IV since they couldn't get another one in. When my nurse pushed the Dilauded (pain medicine) through the IV, the veins turned bright red and you could see the medicine going through them because the veins were so small and the medicine was so strong. It was weird! It also burned so bad when it was going in. After the medicine kicked in I forgot all about it. It never hurt after that unless she was putting nausea or pain medicine into it.

The next day I couldn't even use my right hand because it was so swollen and painful from the IV disaster. Since then it's turned every shade of the rainbow and is almost normal again!

This wouldn't have happened if they would have used my port, since that is the purpose of a port you know. Writing out the story makes it sound like a big deal but it really wasn't. It was just frustrating. But it could have been worse! I just got a pretty impressive bruise! If that's the worst that happens at the hospital, I'll take it!

You know you go to Walgreens too much when.....

2011-11-10T14:31:00.000-06:00

I go to Walgreens multiple times a week to get medicine. I usually go through the drive through when I drop off and pick up prescriptions. I'm there all the time. I often wonder if they think that I have a drug store or something since I'm there so much. A couple weeks ago, I pulled up to the window to wait for them to ask me my name so they could go get my medicine. Instead, the little box opens and there is my medicine! They knew who I was and I didn't have to tell them...how lovely. I'm known by name at my primary care doctor, the gynecologist, an after hours place, a couple ERs, and now the pharmacy. You should definitely be jealous that I'm so popular.

Never boring!

2011-11-08T12:31:00.000-06:00

This week I am not lacking in things to post! Wow. It's been a week that I won't ever forget. Let's review.

A week and a half ago, my parents left for Costa Rica for a missions conference. While they were gone, I helped take care of my brother. A week ago today, my brother flew down to Guatemala with a group from church. My dad met them at the airport in Guatemala while my mom stayed in Costa Rica for the rest of the conference. My dad, brother, and the rest of the group were on a medical mission trip.

So last Tuesday I dropped my brother off with the group and all the sudden I was so sick. I hadn't been feeling well since Sunday but all the sudden I got sicker. I went to my primary care by myself. Found out I have the flu. Fever of 101, fast heart rate, chills, body pain, headache, nauseous and very dehydrated. As soon as I left I dropped my prescriptions off and went to my grandparents. Told them I needed fluids so off we went. Went to one after hours clinic and they didn't do fluids. Went to another one and they did do fluids, but the doctor was stupid so we left with no fluids. So we went to the hospital. I got 2 liters of fluid, nausea and pain meds, and benedryll. Had the best doctor and nurse. Felt wonderful after I had a little fluid and meds! Finally after 6 hours I got to go home.

Spent the rest of the week resting at home with lots of meds. Friday night my aunt stayed with me. Around 2:30 am Saturday, I was peacefully sleeping in my room upstairs. Then, the house started shaking! I wasn't sure if it was an earthquake OR me hallucinating from pain meds. That has happened before. In Nevada this spring, we were staying at Lake Tahoe for the weekend and there was a blizzard. The heater in our hotel was so loud. The whole night I was convinced that there was an avalanche thanks to the morphine. Our hotel was at the bottom of the mountains so it made perfect sense. It's so funny to think about now but I was TERRIFIED the whole night.

Back to Saturday morning. I finally realized that it was an actual earthquake so I flew down the stairs. My aunt was awake waiting for me to come down. We watched the tv and got on facebook since every one was on there. The earthquake was a magnitude 4.7. We finally calmed down enough to go back to sleep. There were a dozen small earthquakes all day that we didn't feel.

Saturday night, my mom called to say that her plane had landed and she would be home soon. Around 11pm, just a few minutes after she called, we had the biggest earthquake in the history of Oklahoma. My aunt and I were in my living room which has 2 walls of windows. When it started, we jumped up and ran out of the room. I thought the windows were going to break. The shaking went on for what seemed like forever. All the phone lines weren't working cause so many people were trying to call people. The earthquake was a 5.8.

Before the Haiti earthquake, we never felt earthquakes here. We had small ones, but never felt them. We started feeling them after the Haiti one and they started getting bigger. There's a fault several miles east of us.

Sunday we had lots of earthquakes but I didn't feel any of them.

My dad and brother got home yesterday afternoon from Guatemala. It was raining all day. Last night the storms got really bad. There was flooding, tornados, lightening, and thundering. Then, we had another 4.7 earthquake. All at the same time!

Today there are several schools closed because of flooding or earthquake damage. I got an email that my Bible class room at school is flooded.

We are all fine. My brother is home with nausea, probably something he got in Guatemala. So we are having quite a party today with me still recovering from the flu. It's been a very crazy week.

Several people posted this picture on facebook. It is perfect!

So the earthquakes really have caused that much damage. But with all the facebook posts and everyone getting excited, you would think that it is the worst thing ever. We just aren't used to earthquakes so it's a big deal!

That's all the excitement I have to share at the moment!

2011-11-07T20:58:00.000-06:00

At this moment in Oklahoma, we are having tornados, flooding, lightening, thundering, and earthquakes. ALL happening right now. Over the weekend we had the biggest earthquake in our history. It was a 5.6. We've had at least 8 a day this weekend. It's crazy. We hadn't had earthquakes here until the Haiti earthquake. There has to be some connection.
The earthquake just now was a 4.7. I'll post more later

Who needs trauma and ER shows when you can witness it in person?!

2011-11-04T13:19:00.001-05:00

This post was actually supposed to be short and have one point, but as I was writing it, it got a little crazy and random. But that's how I'm feeling now. A little crazy and random! So here you go..

As I posted in my last post, I had the privilege of spending another night in the ER. As I'm sure you know by now, this is not uncommon. In the past 3 years I've been to the ER over 50 times. No, that is not an exaggeration. I could whip out all my hospital bracelets and show you if you really want to see proof. My current record for the longest I've gone without going to the ER, since I got sick 3 years ago, is 2 and a half months! It's a big accomplishment.

So, Tuesday night to Wednesday morning my grandparents and I were just hanging out in the ER (my parents were out of town, actually out the country doing mission work, so my grandparents got to go with me). I don't prefer to go to the hospital without my parents, but I think I did well. I didn't get in any fights with the doctors, so it was a success! You see, when you have Lyme disease, it is almost always a game when talking to a doctor. I told my grandparents not to say a WORD and to let me do the talking. I walk a fine line of what to say and what not to say. One wrong word, and the fight with the doctor begins. However, the hospital that I now go to has never really been a problem! The doctors there don't question that I have Lyme Disease. The other hospitals in this area do.

The fights almost always starts like this.
"Um ma'am why do you have a port?"
"I have Lyme Disease, but it's more under control now". Sometimes I actually lie about that. If I leave out the "it's under control" part, there will always be a fight.
"Ma'am you cannot have Lyme Disease. We don't have that here."
I come up with smartalic things to say like,
"then please tell me why you have your dog take medicine to protect them from ticks". Or, "I didn't even tell you where I was from! I could be from New York and just in Edmond visiting. I could have gotten Lyme Disease there." Or, "then how is it that Lyme is one of the most common infections seen in dogs here in Oklahoma? Do ticks that have Lyme JUST like dogs and not people? That makes a LOT of sense."

It makes me feel so good when they get this stupid look on their faces and either change the subject, or just walk out. But a lot of times they get so defensive and start saying very unkind things to me. Sometimes security has almost been called because it gets so bad. It's one of the worst things to deal with. Sometimes I'm so sick but am terrified to go to the doctor because I don't know what will happen. I should have my own tv show. My life is a lot more interesting than some of those reality shows.

I'm done with that tangent now. Thankfully that hasn't happened at the hospital I go to now! They are wonderful!

Moving on. I've always been fascinated with trauma and ER shows. I really don't know why. It's always so entertaining! One of the best parts about going to the ER is getting to be live in the action. This past trip to the ER was not lacking in excitement! A lady in labor came through through the doors yelling,
"it's coming! Hurry! I can't stop it, it's coming!"
That was entertaining to watch her try to fill out paperwork while making sure everyone knew the baby was coming. There was a guy who needed stitches around his mouth. There were a couple people whose loved one was in critical condition, and they were not allowed to see them yet. There were several very hard phone calls. I spent a lot of time praying for those families. There was an older lady in a wheelchair in her robe and nothing but her robe. She was waiting for someone to pick her up and asked everyone who walked by her to call "them" to see when "they" would be there. I still don't know who "them" is. The 2 ladies who direct people when they come in the door are so sweet. One of them recognized me since I've been there so much. I thought they were going to strangle that lady. It was hilarious to watch. She was convinced that "they" were never coming to pick her up. Ten minutes seemed like an hour to her. There was ANOTHER lady in her robe and nothing but her robe. Apparently it was robe night. That was all in the ER waiting room!

This was the view from my room. It's one of my favorite rooms in that ER. Yes, I've been in all of them multiple times.

I like it because it's right by the nurses station and across the way from the trauma rooms. There's always lots going on in that area. You can't see it in this picture but to the left of the curtain is one of the trauma rooms. If the curtain was pulled to the right you could see right in the room. A couple hours after I had been in my room, EMSA was bringing in a guy on a stretcher. There were at least 5 EMSA guys with him. At this time, my curtain wasn't closed very much, so I had a perfect view into his room. Is that against the privacy policy to watch other patients and listen in? Why yes it is. But I couldn't help it. I was not allowed to get up because of my drugged state and all my monitors and IVs, and I didn't want to ask my grandparents to get up and close the curtain. So that means that I HAD to watch what was going on. The guy had on a neck brace and was immediately surrounded by nurses and doctors. They were talking to him and hooking him up to monitors. After they got him settled, he was in his room alone and was holding his cell phone up in the air above him. It looked like he was taking pictures of himself. Maybe he was texting, but it sure looked like he was taking pictures!

That was all that I remember about him because the nurse came in and gave me a hefty dose of IV Benedryll. Two doses of Dilauded (a form of morphine that is 10 times stronger than morphine) doesn't knock me out, but then bam Benedryll hits and I get so sleepy! I never fell asleep but I was very out of it.

It may sound like I enjoy people watching at the ER too much. I feel the need to say that I in no way wish for people to be hurt or sick and have to come to the ER. While it is entertaining, I wish that they wouldn't have to be there and be hurting.

But who needs Trauma and ER shows when you can witness it in person?!

Update

2011-11-02T15:10:00.000-05:00

It's been a crazy 24 hours. I went to 3 different doctors doctors yesterday because I was feeling horrible. I first went to my primary care doctor who said that I have a flu like virus. I couldn't eat or drink because of the nausea, I had a 101 degree fever, and my body and head hurt so bad.

After I left the doctor, I went to an after hours clinic to get fluids because I was very dehydrated and IV fluids help my body pain. The doctor there thought too highly of herself and decided without even examining me that I didn't need fluids. Actually she is just a P.A. so she isn't even a real doctor. She made me feel stupid for even being there. So we left since she was not going to do anything because I was "fine". So off to the ER we went.

We had to wait for over 2 hours to been seen. While we were waiting in the waiting room they took me to do a chest xray and drew blood to speed up the process. Once in my room, the nurses and doctor came in. My nurse just graduated from the nursing program at Oklahoma Christian so I enjoyed talking to her! I've had the doctor that was there before and he is GREAT! He is so calm and humble, unlike the doctor at the after hours clinic. He agreed that I have a nasty flu virus. I was given 2 IV bags, which is 2 liters of fluid. Obviously that means that I was very dehydrated. I really wanted to go back to the P.A. at the after hours clinic and tell her how dehydrated and sick I really was. They gave me nausea and pain meds too. Pretty soon after the IV fluids were started, I started feeling a lot better. I'm sure that also had to do with the morphine and nausea medicine! I also got benedryll because the pain medicine made me itch a lot. After 6 hours in the ER I got to go home! By then I was feeling great! It's amazing how fast I started feeling better. By the time we got home and settled it was 2am.

Today I'm feeling better. I still have a low grade fever and am hurting and nauseous, but that's to be expected because of the virus. I ate some soup today and have been trying to drink a lot so I don't get dehydrated again. I'm staying on top of the pain and nausea with the medicine they gave me. The only thing to do is treat the symptoms and let the virus run its course. I think the worst is over and I should just get better from here.

Trick or treating in the dorms!

2011-10-29T21:50:00.000-05:00

It has been a crazy week. For the first time in college, I had a little panic attack over this paper I'm writing. I'll post more soon about that!

On Thursday night there was trick or treating in the dorms! We decorated our doors and dressed up for it. At 11pm the night before, my friends and I decided to be rock, paper, and scissors. Here is the finished project!

This is our decorated door!

Anyone is welcome to bring their kids to the dorms! We all stood by our doors and handed out candy! So from 6-8 the dorms were packed full of people! A lot of the faculty and staff bring their kids. There were a lot of people from church too. It was so much fun!!! The comments on our costumes were hilarious. Once, my friend who was the rock went back in the room so people thought my friend and I were just school supplies...haha yeah cause that's really cool to do!!

It was a ton of fun! And since we participated in this, we get a free room check! Once a week we have room check where they see if we cleaned the sink, microwave, refrigerator, and floors. We also have to take all the trash out and wash all the dishes. Now we have a free week!

After trick or treating was done we decided to go to the snack bar in the student center for some food. And yes, we definitely did wear our costumes. I'm sure we were the coolest people there...haha actually we made people laugh so it was worth it!

An update is coming soon! Hope you're having a good weekend!

How did I forget?!

2011-10-23T21:22:00.000-05:00

I forgot something very important. On October 6th, my port turned 2 years old! Two years ago the port was surgically placed inside my chest.

My port is on the right side of my chest (opposite of my heart). You can actually see the tubing that goes from my port to my neck and then to my heart. You can see it right under the skin.

The port is attached and tied to the muscle in my chest. When not accessed, nothing is hanging out of the port. It's all under the skin which means that when it's not accessed I can shower like normal! No glad and seal like I had to do with my PICC line. I know you're glad that I shower. To access my port, you use a special 1 inch needle. My mom and I had to go through training to be able to access the port at home by ourselves. Obviously this is taken very seriously since we are putting a 1 inch needle in my chest, that connects to my heart and has to be completely sterile. This procedure is not taken lightly. Knowing how to access my port has allowed me to do IVs at home. It is also helpful when in the hospital or Nevada because my veins are terrible and have been used so much.

There is one problem. Sometimes in the hospital the nurse will come in and say, "oh we can't access ports here. We aren't trained to do that". So they don't use it. Then they proceed to try to find my veins. Well it's so much fun to get stuck so usually I make my veins act stubborn. I like for them to stick me 3-8 times. Just kidding. But really?! The nurses in the ER can't access my port? "But my mom accesses it from home," I say. That doesn't matter apparently. So I get a normal IV in my arms. That is until they go through 2 nurses and a total of 5 sticks. I told you I like to cause trouble. Then it's like magic! Somehow, someone figured out how to access a port within the past 10 minutes! So then I get my port accessed and all is well.

My port has been through a lot! It's been to Nevada, Brazil, Florida, and many other places. Sometimes it gets accessed every day which I'm sure is traumatic to it! Bless its heart.

It's a weird thought that a piece of metal is just hanging out in my chest and that we stab it with a needle and then immediately have IV access! I love my little port. I love showing it to people and see them freaking out because you can see it and the tube that runs to my neck.

Here is a picture that I got off of google. This is what the port looks like!

It's weird that at some time the port will have to come out. I'll probably have separation anxiety or something. So happy 2nd birthday to my port! I hope we have many more years together.

"Accomplishments"

2011-10-22T13:35:00.001-05:00

Since surgery I have "accomplished" several things.

I have watched 5 seasons of Gilmore Girls. I'm halfway through season 6.
Have you heard of the game Bubble blast? If you haven't, I'm warning you. DON'T get it. You will be so addicted. I may or may not have beat all 76 levels in a matter of days...I'm working on getting all gold stars on each level
I started playing Hanging With Friends along with Words With Friends. I'm considering quitting school because it's so stressful to keep up with all 15 of my games. I'm telling you, you are not stressed out until FIFTEEN people are waiting for you to play in their hangman and scrabble game.
I have almost finished all my school work from the 2 weeks that I was gone. Blah, blah blah, blah blah. Obviously the previous 3 accomplishments are more important.
I have spent more time at home than in the dorms. Why is this an accomplishment? What college kid do you know that gets to live in the dorms AND at home. Yeah maybe I shouldn't be bragging about this one. I'm working on never coming home again. It's harder than you think. Especially since I live 8 minutes from college.
I have graduated from wearing nothing but sweats to wearing real clothes again! I may or may not be still stuff my pants with kleenexs so they don't rub again my incisions and (the little bit of) swelling that I still have. You would have thought that 4 and a half weeks after surgery that the swelling would be completely gone. But I don't like to be normal as I'm sure you know by now.
I got my first curfew violation at college! Yes, freshmen have curfew at Oklahoma Christian. There are no boys allowed past the lobby unless it's open dorm night(which is once a month). That means that for 3 hours, boys ARE allowed in our rooms. But there are strict rules. All boys must check in at the desk and give their IDs and the room number they're going to. Doors must be open and lights must be on. Every 30 minutes a lady with a clipboard comes around checking each room and writing something on her paper. She probably doesn't really write anything. So anyway, curfew on week nights is midnight. Friday it's 1am, and Saturday it's 12:30am. They come in your room every night to see if you're there. If you won't be spending the night in your room you have to sign out online and give them the exact address you are going to and why. So last weekend I decided to stay at home because I was getting sick with fever, body aches, headache and all that fun stuff. I signed out Friday night so that's great. Saturday night comes and I completely forget to sign out. Of course I don't know that till I wake up Sunday morning and have a million missed calls from my hall director and this scary voicemail. They didn't know where I was all night. Of course, I freaked out and called her and she didn't answer. I was feeling terrible and was so scared about what would happen to me. I didn't get ahold of her till I was back in the dorms Sunday night. My RA(who checks to see if we are there) said, "I felt so bad because I know you weren't doing anything bad because that's not you! I knew you were sick and at home but we didn't have anything official." She is so sweet. It's weird because she is from Brazil and knows everyone we do down there! I went to talk to my hall director and set up a meeting for the next day. I had to read the rules and initial by each of them. Then, it went in my "file". Why is this an accomplishment? I don't break rules. If you know me, you know that! Which is why it's really funny that I got a curfew violation before all my friends. There was an orange paper on my door when I got back to the dorms to make sure that I knew I had a violation. Good times.
I have become an official college student! I wait till the last minute to do homework since hanging out with friends is more fun.

These are all of the "accomplishments" that I can think of at the moment! As you can tell, I have been VERY busy lately...just kidding. I am loving college and everything! I better go. I have 10 games to play and another Gilmore Girls episode to watch. Oh yeah, and write a paper that's due next Friday.

Whole Foods

2011-10-17T14:14:00.000-05:00

Last week Whole Foods opened in Oklahoma City! I went on the day it opened and it was great! When I'm at the clinic in Nevada we go to Whole Foods all the time. They have a great soup and salad bar.

I always have to get dessert...

I'm so glad that I can now go to Whole Foods at home and not just in Nevada.

This weekend I stayed at home because I wasn't feeling well and yesterday I went to the after hours clinic. I have a sinus infection so I started antibiotics for that. I'm starting to feel a little better. I'm back in the dorms until Wednesday when our fall break starts. Fall break couldn't have come at a better time since I'm sick.

I have loved reading your comments about your favorite songs! Keep that up if you think of more!!

Encouraging Songs

2011-10-09T17:25:00.000-05:00

There are so many songs that are so encouraging to me. I love being able to worship God through music. These songs have brought me so much peace in the hospital or whenever I'm really sick. When I listen to these if I'm in the hospital, it reminds me what is important and that God is in control. It's very peaceful in the midst of the chaos. When I listen to these songs when I'm not in the hospital or really sick, it reminds me that God brought me through those hard times. It's so encouraging.

I thought that I would share some of the songs with you! On my ipod I have a playlist called "Encouraging". I love having all those songs in one playlist.

I'll put the name of the song and then the artist after it. The ones that are bold are songs that are really encouraging me at the moment.

These are more upbeat songs.

Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing-Jadon Lavik
Glorious Day (Living He Loved Me)-Casting Crowns
Courageous-Casting Crowns
I Will Sing of My Redeemer- Selah and Barlow Girl
Strong Enough to Save- Tenth Avenue North
All I Need-Bethany Dillon

These are some of my favorites. They are very powerful and really make me thing.

Allelujah- The Museum
Carry Me- Audrey Assad
I Lift My Hands- Chris Tomlin
I Will Rise- Chris Tomlin
You are Good- Nicole Normand
You Love Me Anyway- Sidewalk Prophets
I'm Still Yours- Kutless
While I'm Waiting- John Waller
Before the Throne- not sure who it's by
He Is- Michael W. Smith
Lord, I Need You- Chris Tomlin
Praise You in This Storm- Casting Crowns
Your Hands- JJ Heller
Before the Morning- Josh Wilson
In Better Hands- Natalie Grant
In Christ Alone- Brian Littrell
Mighty to Save- Laura Story
Fall Apart- Josh Wilson
Healing Rain- Michael W. Smith
Healing is in Your Hands- Christy Nockels
Yours-Steven Curtis Chapman

I hope that these songs encourage you too! I would love to know some of your favorite songs. If you have some please comment on this post and list them there so that others can see them too!

Update and Pictures

2011-10-05T17:11:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I had my post op appointment. Everything looks good! I'm still swollen but hopefully that will go down soon. I've been going to school this week (1 class a day) but I'm still staying at home. I'm planning on going back to the dorms this weekend.

Here are some pictures from the past week.

Today some flowers were delivered to my house! They are gorgeous!!

My "recovery" table by the couch.

My dog loves having me home

This is where I walk everyday since I've had surgery. That's my house behind those trees. I walk down the street and back a couple of times.

My brother has been working on our fort

Just some trees in our backyard!

"Surgery Brain"

2011-10-03T15:07:00.000-05:00

Something really funny happened today...

Today I got to go to my English class! I got there early to talk to the teacher. On my way in, I gave a thank you note to the secretary of the department. She is so sweet and sent me a package in the mail with candy, a card, and a beautiful notepad. This morning before leaving my house I wrote her a thank you note and put in my bag.

My teacher and I were done talking and as we were walking to the classroom, the secretary stopped me and said in the sweetest voice,
"Victoria I think you gave me the wrong card. This one is blank."

I started laughing and so did all of us! Apparently I took a blank card to her and left her card at home...

I told her today was the first day that I've gotten out of the house and well you know, I'm just a little out of it.

She and my teacher said they will give me 2 more weeks to let everything slide by because of my "surgery brain". So for 2 more weeks I can get by with anything!!

We all had a good laugh! I'm still laughing. Maybe next time I'm remember to take her a thank you note with words on it!!

Surgery and recovery

2011-09-25T17:52:00.000-05:00

I apologize if some of this doesn't make sense. I'm just a little out of it.

On Monday morning we headed to the hospital around 5:15. When we got to the hospital, we were the only patients there! We filled out paperwork in the waiting room while laughing with the staff that was there. The hospital is arranged strange. The ORs are in the middle of the building. So to get from the waiting room to pre-op and recovery, you have to go up to the second floor to the back and then down to the first floor.

Once in pre-op my nurses came in and one of them was my nurse for my last surgery in December! It was really funny because she came in and said, "you all look familiar".

Then I said as I was laughing, "actually I have a picture of you from my last surgery...". We all started laughing so much! My grandparents knew the other nurse which was crazy!

Once they started my IV they gave me Tylenol through it. We didn't know that they could do that! It was just a bottle of Tylenol. They started me on IV antibiotics too.

The anesthesiologist came to talk to us and was very nice. He answered our questions and was great! I got 5 out of the 8 nausea medicines that I could get. They also gave me Benedryll during surgery to help counteract the reaction to the cleaning things they have to use before surgery.

A PA from my surgeons office was there too which was great! I've seen her a lot at the office if the main doctor is busy. She was in my last surgery too. The surgeon came in and everything was ready to go.

They didn't give me any kinda of relaxation drugs before they took me to the OR so I really remember it. I crawled onto the operating table while the nurses got everything ready. They put monitors all over me while we were talking. It seemed like I was awake forever! Then my hand started to burn where the IV was and I started getting sleeping. That's all I remember!

The surgery was a little over an hour. I woke up in recovery hurting so much. Usually my parents are allowed to come back when I'm awake, but they wouldn't let them this time. I kept asking where my parents were and why I couldn't see them. The anesthesiologist came back in to adjust some meds because I was hurting a lot.

I started feeling better and asked for a coke. The nurse brought me one and I started to drink it. She left the room again real quick and I decided I needed more to drink, so I started to pour the coke from the can into the cup. The problem was that there was a lid on the cup and I didn't realize that...so she comes back in to me pouring the coke everywhere...I think I started crying and apologizing. She was laughing and now I laugh at it! I can just see myself doing that.

I got dressed and then was taken out to meet my parents at the car. We got home sometime mid morning I think. I slept a lot on Monday when I got home.

I'm doing well right now. I'm still swollen and have little rashes from where they had to use cleaning things that I'm allergic to. Yesterday and today I walked a little. I'm still having pain, but it's only been 6 days since surgery so it will take time. I can mostly get up on my own now, but sometimes still need help. It's a workout just to get up!

In the surgery, they found endometriosis and took all that out. I have 3 incisions from this surgery. We could not be happier with the nurses at that hospital and my surgeon! They are wonderful.

I'm so thankful for all your prayers. Please keep praying that I will continue to get stronger and pain free.

Update coming soon

2011-09-24T15:09:00.002-05:00

I'm still here! I'll post either tonight or tomorrow

2011-09-19T11:05:00.001-05:00

Quick update. Surgery is over and went well. Please continue to pray for pain and nausea relief. Hurting a lot

Surgery Tomorrow

2011-09-18T19:24:00.000-05:00

My surgery is tomorrow morning at 7:30. We have to be there bright and early at 5:30. Except it won't be bright because the sun won't even have come up yet...whoever made up that phrase needs to recheck the sunrise time. It will be early though! I'm ready to go and will update as soon as I can. Thank you for all the prayers!

Here are a couple of verses that I'm taking comfort in.

Philippians 4:6-7

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus"

Isaiah 43: 2

"When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown! When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up- The flames will not consume you."

Getting closer

2011-09-16T10:56:00.000-05:00

We are getting closer to surgery. I've been trying to go to class and the rest of the time I've been resting in my dorm room. I had a Bible test yesterday and got 67 out of 75, which is great considering I've missed 2 of the classes already and I don't feel good.

This weekend I am going to get everything ready for surgery. I need to pack things from my dorm room and take them home since I'll be staying there while I'm recovering. I'll post again before surgery and then hopefully my parents can update my blog when I'm out of surgery and everything.

I hope you have a relaxing weekend!

National Invisible Illness Awareness Week

2011-09-12T10:40:00.000-05:00

Last year I wrote a post about National Invisible Illness Awareness Week. I got a lot of comments with how helpful the post was, so I'm going to post it again! This week is National Invisible Illness Awareness Week. There are so many people who have invisible illnesses. What does having an invisible illness mean? It means that you get told...

"you look great!"

"I can tell you feel better because you look good!"

"I'm so glad you could be here. I'm glad you are finally getting some relief".

While we appreciate that we look good, it's so hard to get people to understand how much we are suffering because we look "normal". Of course I want to look great and love when people tell me I do! But sometimes I wish my illness was visible because maybe people would be more understanding. There are times when my illness is visible because I'm pale, have gray skin, have a PICC line in my arm, or have to use a wheelchair. But most of the time I look normal.

People don't understand how you can look normal but claim to be so sick. Many times you will lose friends because they think you are faking it. Doctors will send you away because you look "okay".

When you finally get up the strength to leave the house because you feel like you've been hit by a truck, the last thing you want to hear is how good you look. We just want someone to validate how bad we feel and how hard we worked just to leave the house. When you look good all the time, people assume you are better and feeling okay. That's not how it works with invisible illnesses and it's so hard to get people to understand how hard it is.

That is what living with an invisible illness means. What is horrible is that there are so many people who suffer silently because people don't believe that they can be so sick and still look "normal". The theme this year is meant to get people to just help one person who suffers. One of the best things you can do for a chronic illness is leave random notes for the person suffering that will make them laugh or tell them that you are behind them 100%.

This questioner came from the invisible illness website.

30 Things You Might Not Know About My Invisible Illness

1. The illness I live with is: Lyme Disease, Fibromyalgia, Babesiosis, Bartonella, Ehrlichiosis, and other infections

2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: 2008

3. But I had symptoms since: 2006

4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is: being taken out of the fun teenage world and thrown into the adult medical world.

5. Most people assume: that if I'm out of the house I feel good. And if I'm having a good day, that means I'm completely better and can do everything again. That's not how it works though.. One step forward, three steps back. When I'm having a "good" day it still means that I might not feel good. A good day for me could be equivalent to a bad day for a normal person.

6. The hardest part about mornings are: waiting for the strong sleep medicine to wear off and dealing with being sick all through the night.

7. My favorite medical TV show is: House

8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is: Iphone and computer. When you're homebound, that's the only way to talk to people sometimes.

9. The hardest part about nights are: being so exhausted and still not being able to sleep from the pain.

10. Each day I take over 20 pills, 2 or more shots, IVs, tons of liquid medicines.

11. Regarding alternative treatments I: completely believe in them. I am on alternative treatment because I can't handle regular treatments.

12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: Anything besides Lyme that is so politically split and has no recognition.

13. Regarding working and career: I do school from home. I haven't been to school since November 2008.

14. People would be surprised to know: I secretly laugh when people tell me how strong I am. So you're telling me I'm strong for fighting for my life? I'm just trying live, not be strong. It's something that has to be done and there's no way around it. I also laugh because I'm not strong. My God is strong and through Him I am strong. Only through Him. I do appreciate being told I'm strong, but it's not me, It's Him.

15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been: the unknown and controversy about my disease. We have to make medical decisions because most doctors won't treat me. It's so hard to have a disease that the government says doesn't exist, therefore we have to stay under the radar with it. But that doesn't mean we don't spread awareness. Also, the fact that I spend the majority of my time hooked up to IVs, taking medicine, spending all day at the doctor in the in the hospital.

16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was: help give others hope.

17. The commercials about my illness: I haven't seen any.

18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: Going to school and being a teenager

19. It was really hard to have to give up: Everything. My independence. So much has been taken away.

20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: Trying to spread awareness about this disease. Talking to people and actually listening.

21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: Do normal teenage things with my friends, not worrying about medicine schedules.

22. My illness has taught me: to cherish the small things like being able to get out of bed and walk.

23. Want to know a secret? Even though I hate this disease I wouldn't change anything. I'm so much more aware of my blessings and helping others.

24. I love it when people: visit me or send me a text or message saying they support me.

25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is: "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73:26

26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them: Do research for yourself and trust God. If you trust Him and His plan you can get through anything.

27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is: How many things we take for granted.

28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was: actually tell me how sick I look. Thank you for validating how horrible I feel.

29. I’m involved with Invisible Illness Week because: I don't want anyone to have to go through what I've gone through.

30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel: very very blessed. I hope you understand how many people are silently hurting. We really can change the world one person at a time.

Thank you for reading and for your support and prayers.
Check out the invisible illness website to see how you can help.
http://invisibleillnessweek.com/

Surgery

2011-09-08T13:20:00.000-05:00

I'm sorry that I haven't updated in a while. I've been a little out of it. We made the decision and I'm having another abdominal surgery. We had 3 choices and surgery is the best. My doctor/surgeon completely agrees. The only reason we had other choices was because I'm in school and he didn't want surgery to mess that up. But I'm missing classes because I hurt too much, so surgery would be the fastest thing to do. I had my pre-op appointment this morning, and everything is ready to go.

The surgery is Monday, September 19th (a week from Monday). I have to be there at 5:30am so I will be the first surgery of the day. It's an exploratory laparoscopy surgery, but my surgeon is pretty sure he knows what the problem is. I am also on the cancelation list, so if someone has to cancel their surgery, I will get their slot and have it sooner.

The surgery is the same as the one I had in December. I'm really ready to have it and get some pain relief. Until then, I'm trying to go to my classes and do all my homework. It's a little hard because of the pain medicine I'm on, but I'm doing okay.

This will be my 3rd abdominal surgery in a year. I'm going for a record! Just kidding.

I hope you all are having a great day.

The first week of classes

2011-09-01T16:14:00.000-05:00

My first week of classes has been good! I have one class a day, except for Wednesdays where I have two. I go to chapel everyday at 11am and then my class for the day is either at 11:30 or 12:30. On Monday, Wednesday, and Friday I have Comm 1. Bible is on Tuesday and Thursday, and Intro to Nursing is on Wednesday. It's working out well so far. I've had homework everyday, and it's been a little difficult getting back into the swing of things. I'm slowly getting the hang of it. I know it's no one where near the amount of work that others have, but for me it's a lot. There's a lot of different things to balance!

Last night we had a fire drill at 11:30pm. That was fun! Usually they don't tell you about fire drills and they are in the middle of the night, but they told us last night before it happened so it wouldn't freak us out with all the fires around here lately. There are still fires all over the state. You can see the smoke from miles and miles away. I'm not sure if they know what keeps starting the fires.

Some of the hardest things for me this week are from not being in school in 3 years. And actually I missed a lot of my freshman year too. We are expected to take notes, know where to find the homework assignments even when the teacher doesn't say anything about it in class, and just be more independent. Most people learned all of that in high school. I pretty much went from 8th grade to college, and it's been very difficult! I'm sure it will get easier, but it will take a while. I've never had to take notes, so I'm learning how to do that.

One of the best things about being at a Christian school is all the help you get. The teachers aren't just there for you in the classroom, but they are there for you in life and they want you to grow spiritually. They encourage you in ways that they might not be able to in a public school. It's nice to actually have teachers who want to know you and encourage you. So yes, I'm so lost in a lot of things in the classroom, but my teachers are great. They have been very understanding and want to help make this transition easier for me. I'm so thankful for that!

The best things about this week have been being able to be "normal". I get to see my friends everyday. I also get to go to school which I have missed so much! We watch a movie or tv shows together and hang out in each others rooms. My roommate and I have been going to bed at 10:30 most nights because we get so tired from everything! Lots of people are going to bed early right now! Curfew is at 12am. My roommate and I have known each other our whole lives! Our moms have been best friends their whole lives, and our grandparents have been too. It's working out very well and we are having a lot of fun! We have room check on Tuesdays where we have to clean and do specific things to our rooms. I love college and dorm life!

I also have so many great people working with me and informing my teachers of my situation. It's comforting to know that there are so many people here who have said that if I need anything at all, I can go to them!

I did have to miss chapel and Bible today because of a doctors appointment that couldn't be moved. The doctor gave me 3 options of what we can do next, so I'm thinking about it and discussing it with my parents. I will update whenever I have any new information about what we decide to do about the persistent abdominal pain.

Thank you for the prayers for all the people being affected by the fires! Please pray for direction for us as we decide what the next step will be as far as taking care of the abdominal pain. I'm not feeling very well, and have mostly been laying in my room except for going to class. I lost five pounds in two weeks which is not good, even though I've been eating normally. I think it's from all the pain and feeling sick. We are trying to decide what to do fast!

"Show me your ways, O LORD,
   teach me your paths;
guide me in your truth and teach me,
   for you are God my Savior,
   and my hope is in you all day long." Psalm 25:4-5

Fire update

2011-08-31T21:04:00.000-05:00

The fires died down last night, but early this morning picked back up. This afternoon it got really bad again and we ran home to get things. Our power was out for a while too. Thirty houses burned down yesterday, and I don't know the count today. We went across the street to the golf course that sits up higher so that we could get a better look at things. It was unbelievable. It really looked like a war zone. Flames kept popping up everywhere. They were at least 20 feet high in some areas. We all smell like smoke and you could feel your eyes burn.

The fire is still going on, and is causing lots of evacuations. The wind has been terrible, which has caused lots of problems. Right now our house is not in the path of the fire anymore. We're praying that it gets under control, and that we get rain very soon.

An update about school is coming tomorrow sometime!

Fire Evacuations

2011-08-30T16:59:00.000-05:00

I don't have time to post much, but the area around our house is being evacuated because of a huge fire that's out of control. My family went home to get our dog and pack up a few things before they leave our house. Please pray for the firefighters, police, and people that are being evacuated.

Earning Our Wings

2011-08-28T13:09:00.001-05:00

Here are a few pictures of my dorm room! A lot of them are blurry because I'm so shaky, so I'm sorry about that.

Our sink, fridge, microwave, and shelves.

My desk area

My closet and desk

My bed is on the right, Kailey's is on the left. We still need to get fabric and pictures to put on our bulletin board above our beds

I really like our room! It's been fun. Last week we had 12 girls at once in there watching the movie Tangled. It was great!

We got back from Dry Gulch yesterday. It's an awesome camp! There are bumper cars, go-karts, a merry-go-round, pool with 4 slides, a lake with a swing into it, horse rides, and a lot of other things! It's just like a western town and we had the whole thing to ourselves. Over 600 people went. There were 100 upperclassmen and staff who went to help too. We took charter buses there and I don't know how many there were! There were a lot of buses for all of us.

This is my friend Chelsea who is my neighbor in the dorms. It seems like we've known her for forever, even though it's only been a week.

There's a deck at the camp where you can eat that overlooks the lake.

It was gorgeous!

Most of the buildings had bunks in them, but the outsides looked like stores at a western town.

We did various activities while we were there, and heard speakers talking about college. We met in the town hall for all of the speakers and things. On Friday night, we all dressed up in western outfits.

One of the best things was the candlelight devotional on Friday night. We all got candles and when we walked to the town square, the upperclassmen were in a huge circle with their candles lit. We all went into the middle and started singing a couple songs. Our candles were not lit yet. Then we started singing Light the Fire. Here are the lyrics.

I stand to praise You,
But I fall to my knees.
My spirit is willing,
But my flesh is so weak.

Light the fire (echo)
In my soul,
(In my weary soul)
Fan the flame, (echo)
Make me whole.
(Make my spirit whole)
Lord, You know
(Oh Lord You know)
Just where I've been,
(Where I've been)
So light the fire in my heart again.

I feel Your arms around me,
As the power of Your healing begins.
You breathe new life right through me,
Like a mighty rushing wind.

So light the fire in my heart again,
Light the fire in my heart again,
Light the fire in my heart again.
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com

As we started singing that, the candle light started spreading in towards the middle of the circle. Within a couple of seconds, everyone's candle was lit. It was so bright when all the candles were lit, despite it being 10pm. We continued to sing and praise God and it was amazing. The candle light devotional is a tradition that has been there a long time. Someone went up on a lift with a video camera and filmed the candle light spreading and it is incredible!

Before we went to the devotional, we read this verse.

“You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. ¹⁵ Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house." Matthew 5:14-15

When we were holding our lit candles, we didn't try to hide them. It was impossible to hide the light.

Why do we try to hide the light in us that is Christ? It should be impossible to us to be able to hide the light in our lives.

The whole week of Earn Your Wings, we tried to figure out what it means to earn our wings. What we learned is that is not one event that gives us our wings. It's about loving each other as a community and that along the way we earn our wings. The theme this week was that we at Oklahoma Christian University are a community who are here to support each other. I think we all finally understand what earning our wings really means.

Right before we left yesterday, we all got our wings (a pin in the shape of wings) while they played the song I Believe I can Fly. We are now officially a part of the OC family. I can't wait to see how God uses us.

Tomorrow is my first day of school in 3 years since I got sick. I'm starting with 1 class a day. I'm so excited. I'll post more after it tomorrow!

college

2011-08-24T23:26:00.000-05:00

College has been great so far. We moved in Saturday and spent the whole day running back and forth to the store to get things we forgot. We got up Sunday morning and got ready for church and met a lot of people who walked with us to church. Oklahoma Christian is right next to the church I've gone to my whole life so it's great because now I can walk to it. My dorm is literally right next to the church. It's only separated by a 2 lane little road that goes around the whole campus. It was really weird seeing all the youth group but not going to class with them. We went to the college class Sunday and it was really good.

After worship there was a free lunch for students and their families. The rest of the day we just hung out and met people. Monday and Tuesday there wasn't anything planned because people were still moving in. Last night we started Earn Your Wings which is the program that all the freshman do before they start school! We have small groups that we get to know and last night did a scavenger hunt across campus. We had worship last night all together which was great. This morning an inner city elementary school came to campus and flew kites with us. I didn't get to go because I was resting, but I heard it was a lot of fun!

Today we worked on our small group video about what it means to Earn Your Wings and then we listened to an acappella group from here sing! After that was worship, and one of my family's long time friend spoke. It was great!!

Tomorrow afternoon all of us freshman plus 100 upperclassmen and staff are heading to a camp until Saturday. The camp looks just like an old western town and I've heard it's very nice.

I'm enjoying everything and I'm sure I left things out of what all we've done so far. We go to bed late and don't get much sleep which is really wearing me out. The past couple days have been hard and I've not been able to do everything, but I'm hanging in there.

I know this update is kinda crazy and I won't be able to post until later this weekend. I guess this is how college is!

2011-08-21T20:04:00.002-05:00

Im all moved in! I don't have my computer, but hopefully I'll get it tomorrow and i can post an update with pictures!

Less crazier week

2011-08-19T10:39:00.000-05:00

I had this nice post all typed out and ready to post on Tuesday...then I went to the ER again. So here is the original post.

"My week has gotten a little less busy. I went to see my primary care doctor today (Tuesday) and she said that I shouldn't do physical therapy until we figure out a plan for the cyst and it feels better. So no physical therapy this week. We finally had the doctor look at a rash that I've had since I was on antibiotics for the sinus infection a while back. It's a fungal infection...how lovely! She gave me stuff for it and said it should clear up in 3 weeks. I will be glad when it's gone because it's everywhere!

Now I just have a doctors appointment for the cyst on Thursday. And of course getting everything ready to move to the dorms on Saturday!

I'm feeling as good as to be expected for a cyst. Thankfully the medicine is helping the pain and letting me get a little done at a time. I'll update after my appointment on Thursday!"

That was what I planned to post on Tuesday. Then I was sitting on the couch on Tuesday night and the pain from the cyst got so much worse and it felt like it was rupturing. We went to the ER again and the CT scan didn't show a cyst, so that means it ruptured. I had a reaction to one of the pain medicines they gave me so they gave me IV Benedryll and that helped a lot. Once everything was under control I was sent home.

I went to the doctor yesterday (Thursday) to talk about more options in controlling the cysts. We were there a long time trying to figure out what to do. We are changing some medicines around, and the doctors really think it will help. I started the medicine last night, so it should take a few weeks to completely get in my system.

I move into the dorms tomorrow!! We've been trying to get everything ready this week, but the 2 ER trips and doctors appointments have slowed us down a little. I'll post pictures of my room and everything sometime this weekend!

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

A big week, good and bad news

2011-08-14T23:01:00.000-05:00

This is such a big week! I move into the dorms on Saturday!!!

Good news- we got my port flushed! It's been 3 weeks since we started the process of finding someone to access my port. We wanted a nurse to do it since my mom wasn't able to access it because the port kept moving around.

Bad news- I had to go to the hospital last night, so that's how I got my port flushed. But at least I got it flushed and it worked! We're pretty sure that I have a cyst because that's what it feels like. We had lowered the medicine to control the cysts a little because it was giving me headaches. It looks like I'm going to have to go back up on the dose though. I have an appointment with the gynecologist on Thursday.

Since we knew what was wrong, at the hospital they just did blood and urine tests and got me more comfortable. Everything looked good so I was able to go home!

There is so much to do this week! I have physical therapy twice this week, personal training once this week, 2 doctors appointments, and packing and getting everything ready for college.

My mom is making curtains for my dorm room and I can't wait to see how everything looks! I'm sure I'll post lots of pictures.

For now I'm trying to rest and do little things to get ready for college. I didn't plan on getting a cyst the week that I move into the dorms, so that's really messing up my plans but it'll all work out.

Disney World

2011-08-12T22:18:00.000-05:00

Our trip was great! It rained almost everyday which sometimes cooled it down. I even had to buy a sweatshirt and wear it several nights! We stayed at the Animal Kingdom Lodge, which is supposed to be like African safari hotel. There are savannas with animals around the hotel and a couple of amazing restaurants. When you get to the hotel you can smell Boma which is the best hotel with African foods. A lot of the people who work at the hotel are actually from Africa which is really neat! It is our favorite hotel.

Part of our hotel

View from our room

Hotel pool

Tigger and I

Panoramic view from our room

Epcot

They have amazing desserts there

at the Animal Kingdom park there is a safari where you're in a real safari truck

Magic Kingdom

Epcot

Hotel lobby window

Hotel lobby

I'm so glad that we got to go! I got to do most things that I wanted to! I was in a wheelchair at the parks so that I could last longer, so that was good. There were only a couple nights that I stayed at the hotel while my family stayed out late at the parks. It was nice though, I just sat on the balcony and read. I did a lot though!

The last several nights that we were there, there was someone very important staying down the hall from us. Our whole hall was filled with security. There were extra cameras set up with cords that ran to the room next to ours where some security people were staying. Security people were in almost every single room around us. I don't think there were any normal people around us. We never figured out who was staying there! They left the day that we did too. It was crazy though!

We got back Thursday morning around 2 and it was back to reality. I had physical therapy yesterday and today. It was great to get away on vacation for a while!

Interesting day and vacation!

2011-08-04T12:50:00.000-05:00

I probably won't post for a week or so since we are leaving for vacation! We are so excited!!

We are leaving in a couple of hours and it has already been an interesting day!
Through out the past 2 weeks, we have been trying to find somewhere that can access my port for me. My primary care doctor has been helping us and we've just not been able to find anywhere. They finally called this morning and told me to go to the hospital for them to access it!

I went by myself since I thought I would be in and out of there really fast. I had to check in at Admitting and think hmm does this mean I'm being admitted to outpatient? The answer is yes. They gave me bracelet and sent me to the outpatient area. When I got called back, they took me to a room in what looks like the pre-op area. People there are getting ready for endoscopy's, colonoscopies, and other procedures like that. I thought it was a little strange that I was there. The nurse that took my vitals said that people are there for outpatient procedures, infusions, and pain management.

I was put in my room and got a warm blanket and coke and was having a nice little time. I got to listen to people on Valium getting ready for their procedures, and was just making the most of being there. If you have to be there, you might as well get warm blankets, coke with crushed ice, and the opportunity to listen to people on pre surgery drugs!

Then, the lady at the check-in desk comes running back and asked if they accessed my port yet. I said no, and she began to explain that insurance won't let me be there to have my port accessed. Uh what? I'm already checked in and everything. Apparently, the people who scheduled it for me, didn't know that insurance wouldn't cover it. It would have cost at least $1500 out of pocket, plus a fine for being there. After lots of phone calls between my mom and the people who scheduled it, I just had to leave. The nurse cancelled the order and I left. I was there for a good hour before insurance decided I couldn't be there.

It was quite a morning. Now we are getting ready to leave for vacation in a couple hours! Who gets to go to the hospital and go on vacation on the same day?! That would be me! When we get back from our trip, I will have to go to a hospital that my insurance will let me go to, and go through that whole process again. I hope they'll give me warm blankets and coke with crushed ice!

Not a whole lot to update

2011-07-31T13:55:00.000-05:00

Last Wednesday and Thursday I went to the gym to work with someone who is helping me start gaining my strength back. It is going really well! We are just starting with some stretches and other things (I don't really know what they're called..). We're starting out slow so it's only 30 minutes each time I go. I'm really enjoying it! We talk the whole time and it makes it go by super fast. I'm looking forward to Wednesday when I go again!!

My family is actually going on vacation this week! We leave on Thursday and are going to Disney World! It's one of our favorite places. We haven't been since I got really sick. There have been a couple of times that we've tried to go, but it just hasn't worked out. But we are going on Thursday and will be gone until the next Wednesday. I am so excited!!!!

We are still waiting for the nurse to call about coming to access my port so hopefully she'll call within the next couple of days.

I hope you're having a good day!

Life lately

2011-07-26T19:49:00.000-05:00

Most of my friends are on the high school mission trip in Memphis this week, so I've just been hanging out. I went to church on Sunday but then came home because I wasn't feeling the best. I haven't been sleeping too well, so that's probably why.

I went to the doctor today to talk about several things. On Sunday night, my back and leg started hurting a lot and went numb. We suspected that it is my sciatic nerve and doctor said she agrees. I'm on a strong anti-inflammatory and am stretching to try and help it. I'm still having shooting pains down my leg and it goes numb a lot.

She said that I can go up on the Amitriptyline(sleep/pain medicine) to try and get me sleeping better. We have been taking things slow with medicine since the ICU episode.

My mom has accessed my port since I got it almost 2 years ago. She was taught by the home care nurses and has done it ever since! A couple weeks ago she tried to access my port because it was time to flush it with saline and heparin so that it doesn't get a blood clot, and she couldn't get it in. The port kept moving around and after a couple of unsuccessful tries, we gave up. It hurt a lot and it doesn't usually do that. So I asked the doctor today if someone there could try it, but no one was comfortable doing it. They are going to send out home health nurses as soon as possible to come access it.

Tomorrow I am going to start training with a personal trainer. She goes to church with us, and will help me start building up my strength. I'm not really sure about what we will be doing, but it will be good to start that!

I've been looking for dorm stuff and my roommate and I have gotten our bedding and a few other things! It's so exciting!!!!

"So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

This is a song by Peter Furler that I love!

" You hold the weight of the world
Still I don't slip through Your hands
Your love is bigger
Than just a notion built by man
I fall again and again,
But you whisper, “You're still mine.”
You feel the pain of the world,
But you never push mine aside.

(Chorus)
And You reach for me
With a love that quiets all my fears
And You reach for me
Like a Father wipes away the tears
So many people in this world,
But I hear You calling out my name.
You reach for me.
Now I'm never gonna be the same.

You know all of my fears
There's nothing Your eyes can't see.
When I tried to give up,
Lord, You never gave up on me.
I give You all of my hopes and dreams,
I lay them down.
Of all the place I've looked,
You're the one truth I have found.

Chorus

You hold the weight of the world,
Still I don't slip through Your hands.
You put the stars in the sky.
You know every grain of sand.

Chorus

You reach for me.
For me."

Baptisms

2011-07-24T22:15:00.000-05:00

The past several weeks have been so encouraging! At the Jr High church camp, there were 7 or 8 (I think, from what my brother says) middle schoolers baptized! The next Sunday at church there were 6 that were baptized! Two of the girls we have known forever. Our families have been friends for a long time. One is going into 8th grade and the other is in high school. I'm so sad that I wasn't able to be there because I was sick.

Then that Wednesday night after church, 2 more of our friends were baptized! They are our neighbors too which is great! They are siblings and one will be in 7th grade, and the other is in high school. It was so special!

At the high school camp, there were around 10 that were baptized I think!

Then on July 10th, my brother was baptized along with 3 others that day!

In the past month, there have been 34 teenagers who have given their lives to Christ in baptism! Six of them were not members of our church, meaning their parents don't go to church here. They are already sharing what God has done with their families who do not know Christ.

There have also been many adults baptized recently too!

I love seeing people decide to give their lives to Christ in baptism. I was baptized on August 21, 2005. My best friend was also baptized then. Her dad baptized her, and my dad baptized me. It was the day before school started!

Baptism is such a special, life-changing thing. It's when we confess Christ in front of people, and then put on Christ in baptism. It's an outward expression of an inward change.

'Then he (Jesus) said to them all: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.' Luke 9:23

'Peter replied, “Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.' Acts 2:38

Through baptism, we are crucified with Christ (going down under the water), then are resurrected (coming out of the water). We die to our old selves, and start a new life with Christ. We are born again into a new life!

"Or don’t you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? ⁴ We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.

⁵ If we have been united with him like this in his death, we will certainly also be united with him in his resurrection." Romans 6:3-5

"Jesus answered, “I tell you the truth, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is born of water and the Spirit. ⁶ Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit^[b] gives birth to spirit" John 3:5-6

'You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, ²⁷ for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ.' Galatians 3:26-27

The angels in Heaven rejoice even if only 1 person is baptized. I can't imagine what rejoicing they have been doing with all of these baptisms! I don't think it's possible to watch a baptism without smiling. It can turn anything into a great day!

Praise God that He forgives us of our sins and makes us white as snow in baptism. Our names are written in the book of life and we have the hope of spending eternity in Heaven where there will be no more pain, death, suffering, or tears.

"He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” Revelation 21:4

Here are pictures of Landon's baptism!!

Landon's confession

My grandpa leading a prayer before the baptism

Aww brother-sister hug

New brother in Christ!

My grandpa with Landon

Alyx, Andrew, Landon, and I

Look at my face in this one! It's crazy

Grandparents

Medicine changes and massage therapy

2011-07-21T14:57:00.000-05:00

I went to the doctor last Thursday to see if my headaches are from a medicine I'm on to control the cysts. The doctor said that is very possible, but we aren't sure. I went from 10 micrograms to 35 while I was in Nevada and couldn't get the cysts under control. She said for most people 20 is high and I was on 35. So we took the medicine down to 30 because we aren't comfortable going lower because of the cysts coming back. It will take 3-4 weeks to know if it was the medicine causing the headaches.

As we were talking, we were reminded about how much my body went through leading up to the stay in ICU. For at least 5 days, my body was all tensed and I had dystonia.

The Dystonia Medical Research Foundation says "Dystonia is a movement disorder that causes the muscles to contract and spasm involuntarily. The neurological mechanism that makes muscles relax when they are not in use does not function properly. Opposing muscles often contract simultaneously as if they are 'competing' for control of a body part. The involuntary muscle contractions force the body into repetitive and often twisting movements as well as awkward, irregular postures."

I went to the ER for 3 days in a row because it kept coming back. Then I started having the seizures and they couldn't get them stopped for 6 hours in the ER and ICU. They got them mostly under control in the ICU but there were still little breakthrough ones. So for almost a week, my body was tensed up really badly. My jaw was clenched too.

Since then, we have done nothing to help relax any of the muscles. This could also be contributing to the headaches that won't go away. All my muscles are so tight and knotted that I'm surprised that we haven't thought of this earlier! When muscles go through that much trauma and pain, they aren't just going to fix themselves.

Tuesday I went for a massage and they worked on my neck, jaw, back, and head. Oh my. It hurt so bad! Whoever said massages are relaxing are wrong! They said that it's going to take 4-5 months to fix everything. The scoliosis doesn't help the problem. We are having to completely retrain my muscles so they know that it's not okay to tense up. That's why it will take 4-5 months is because we have to reprogram them. When we told them what kind of reaction I had that landed me in the ER and ICU, the massage therapist knew exactly what we need to do. He explained about retraining the muscles.

So, it could be a combination of medicine and muscle problems causing the headaches. It's going to take a while to know. Hopefully they will start to get better as we release the tension and lower the dose of medicine.

MISSIONS SUNDAY video

2011-07-19T17:27:00.000-05:00

Here's the video of the kids singing the song that I was talking about in my previous post. You can't see it, but kids and teens lined every row on every isle! It was awesome!!

Missons Sunday 2011

2011-07-19T16:19:00.000-05:00

The stage at church on Sunday. Someone else took this picture!

Every year for the past 9 years, our church has had Missions Sunday. It's something that everyone looks forward to every year! On Missions Sunday, we have a special worship time of praise and giving. Earlier in the year, our church sets a goal of money to give so that we can continue to support missions all over the world. Leading up to Missions Sunday, we pray about what God is asking us to give, and we get to see how God is using the funds all over the world!

The worship time started out with a time of celebration and learning about how God has used previous funds to help others. The lesson was about "generation to generation" and how changing a child's life by teaching them about God can eventually change a whole community. We saw videos and pictures of little kids that have been taught the gospel and have told their families and brought them to Christ. Then those families have been an example to their community.

Through out the worship time we saw videos of other ways that God has helped us spread the gospel. There are people in Africa being given corn to grow, so that they can have physical food for them and their community, but they will also be able to share Christ with others as they sell the corn. There are people in the Philippines who are given a goat that provides them with milk and so much. It not only helps their physical needs, but their spiritual needs are met too.

There are so many stories that I could share!

We took the Lord's Supper together and it is amazing to think that we share that with people around the world. No matter what language, race, or culture, we all participate in the same thing every week, remembering what Jesus did for us.

After that, the kids were dismissed to get ready for a special thing we were doing. Grades kinder garden through high school had been practicing a special song. We were given African shirts to wear since the song we sang came from there!

Here is the video they showed as we were getting ready to sing. These are churches around the world that we support.

All the kids lined each isle and there were some on stage. The older kids were paired with a younger kid to make sure they got to the right spot. We sang a song in Swahili I think! Then the church sang a song with us called A New Hallelujah.

Then we took up the special offering and all the kids in the isles helped pass the baskets. The elders then prayed over the offering. Our goal this year was $655,000.

After church there was a free lunch for everyone! We came back for the evening worship where my dad got to announce what we had raised! At the time of evening worship we had raised $649,000 and then by yesterday we had gone over our goal! Praise God!! We had a great time of praise and heard a great lesson from Bart! (who lives in Vienna)

After evening worship there was dessert before dinner and there was ice cream, coke floats, iced coffee and lots of treats! It was a great day!

I am going to also post a video of the kids singing!

Graduation Reception

2011-07-15T10:53:00.000-05:00

The graduation reception was perfect! It was from 2-4 on Sunday and was in the bridal room at church. They just re-did the room, so it has wood floors and is beautiful! There were homemade cookies, cupcakes, and punch. There were so many people that came. I'm so blessed with so much support.

The hosts and I!

One of my youth ministers and I

Tacy and I

Me, Tacy, and Miriam

What a weekend! (in a good way)

2011-07-13T22:24:00.000-05:00

It was an amazing weekend. On Saturday night, we had some friends over for dinner. They live in Vienna, Austria right now, but we have known them for a long time. Landon and I were in their wedding 10 years ago, and now they have 2 kids with one on the way.

It was so great to see them again! Their baby girl is due in September and they said they hadn't told anyone their name but that they wanted to tell us. They are naming her after me! Her name will be Victoria Hope! How beautiful is that?! I'm so excited.

Me, Landon and Izabela who is 8

Me, my mom, Tamika, and Izabela

Bart, Krystian, Landon and my dad

We had a great time with them Saturday night!

Sunday was a great, great day!!

Sunday morning Landon was baptized! He had been thinking about it for a while. Poor Landon woke up Sunday morning and his eye was so swollen and red. He went to the doctor Monday and found out that he has an eye infection. Of all the days it could have happened, it happened on the day he was getting baptized.

Landon and I right before he was baptized

We had someone else take pictures of his confession and actual baptism, so when we get those I will post more! There were 3 baptisms Sunday morning and 1 Sunday night, so it was a great day! (I'm working on another post about baptism and this summer)

We went out to eat with my family at the restaurant that he picked after church. Then we headed back to church for my graduation reception. I'll post pictures and more soon.

I'm going to the doctor tomorrow because I've been having really bad headaches that aren't going away. They're getting worse and not even strong pain medicine is getting rid of them. That's why I haven't posted as much. The headaches take a lot out of me. So hopefully we'll get it figured out at the doctor tomorrow!

Quick information about what a wonderful day tomorrow will be!

2011-07-09T14:08:00.000-05:00

Camp was amazing! I will post more about it tomorrow or Monday. BUT I wanted to post about tomorrow. My brother Landon who is 13 has decided to be baptized tomorrow!!!!!! So tomorrow morning at church he will put on Christ in baptism! Usually our church has 2 services on Sunday mornings, but for the month of July we are just doing one service on Sunday mornings. We're getting ready for Missions Sunday which is next week. I'll explain more about that later. So all that to say, with just one service, the auditorium is packed full and it's such an uplifting time of worship and praise. I'm so excited!!!

Tomorrow afternoon, someone is hosting a graduation reception for me at church! Everyone is invited to come so email me (victoriashari@hotmail.com) if you want more details!! It will be a big day for our family tomorrow. Landon is making the best decision of his life, and we didn't know if I would ever get a graduation celebration since we didn't know if I would be able to graduate and finish high school from home!

There will be lots of rejoicing and celebrating tomorrow!

Cry Out to Jesus

2011-07-05T11:42:00.001-05:00

I heard this song on the radio on the way to church Sunday and wanted to share.

"To everyone who's lost someone they love
Long before it was their time
You feel like the days you had were not enough
when you said goodbye

And to all of the people with burdens and pains
Keeping you back from your life
You believe that there's nothing and there is no one
Who can make it right

Chorus

There is hope for the helpless
Rest for the weary
Love for the broken heart
There is grace and forgiveness
Mercy and healing
He'll meet you wherever you are
Cry out to Jesus, Cry out to Jesus

For the marriage that's struggling just to hang on
They lost all of their faith and love
They've done all they can to make it right again
Still it's not enough

For the ones who can't break the addictions and chains
You try to give up but you come back again
Just remember that you're not alone in your shame
And your suffering

Chorus

When your lonely (when you're lonely)
And it feels like the whole world is falling on you
You just reach out, you just cry out to Jesus
Cry to Jesus

To the widow who suffers from being alone
Wiping the tears from her eyes
For the children around the world without a home
Say a prayer tonight"

For me, I think the part that I can relate to the most right now is,
"And to all of the people with burdens and pains
Keeping you back from your life".

I don't think there has been a day in the last 4 years where I haven't thought for a second about what I could be doing if I wasn't sick. I've learned how to handle those thoughts and that God has me where He needs me, but everything around me reminds me what I could be doing if I wasn't sick.

For example, I could have been a normal teenager going to school, but I've learned more important things from being sick.

Things like tv and friends make you feel like you're missing out on everything since my life for so long has been doing treatments, being in the hospital, and being too sick to do anything. So yes, sometimes it feels like I'm being kept from living life.

But I'm not. No, I haven't been to school in almost 3 years, I've never been to prom, I was in the hospital for my high school graduation, and I've spent most of my time at home or getting treatments at the hospital or across the country at my Lyme doctor. But I'm able to live. Really live. Each day is a blessing. Walking, eating, and breathing by ourselves is not a given.

"There is hope for the helpless
Rest for the weary
Love for the broken heart
There is grace and forgiveness
Mercy and healing
He'll meet you wherever you are
Cry out to Jesus, Cry out to Jesus"

"I took my troubles to the Lord;
I cried out to him, and he answered my prayer" Psalm 120:1

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, ²¹ to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21

I hope you had fun celebrating the 4th of July yesterday! I leave for camp tomorrow and will get back Friday afternoon! Today I'm resting and getting things ready to go. Please pray that camp goes well and that I will feel good. I'm still having daily headaches and some joint/body pain. Yesterday a storm came through and my joints all ached, especially my hands and knees. It's weird how that affects our joints!

I'm driving myself to camp (2 and a half hours) and I'm so excited!!

Church Camp

2011-07-02T17:15:00.000-05:00

I'm finally starting to feel better! I'm done with my antibiotics, but they stay in my body for another 7 days I think so it will continue to work. Church camp for the high schoolers starts tomorrow. I am going to go Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. I don't think I could last the whole week. I'm glad that I decided to go just for a few days so I can continue to rest and get over the sinus infection. The last days at camp are always the best anyway! Camp is 2 and a half hours away, so I'll probably get there early Wednesday afternoon. I'm so excited!!

Responses to the article, sinus infections, and allergic reactions

2011-06-29T14:28:00.000-05:00

We are overwhelmed at the responses to the news article! It was in the paper Sunday and my parents said that tons of people at church came up to them and told them they already read the article. We've gotten emails and calls from people who think they or someone they know have Lyme and need help on where to go. It's amazing how the CDC says that there is not Lyme in Oklahoma, and yet we are getting calls and emails like crazy. We know of SO many people here who have Lyme, but have had to go out of state to get diagnosed and get treatment. Something needs to change. Doctors are just giving people "band aid" diagnoses, when they should be finding the underlying cause to the symptoms. They will give you a different medicine for every symptom and then tell you that you should be better. What happened to doctors wanting to help their patients?

For the doctors who actually do try and want to help I am so thankful. It's wonderful to be able to talk to others who have found a good doctor and be able to exchange information.

So thank you for all the encouraging comments about the article!

I did go to the doctor Friday and I have a sinus infection. I was put on a strong antibiotic. Sunday I woke up and one of my eyes was swollen and I just didn't feel good. We went to an after hours clinic to make sure everything was okay, and the doctor gave me steroids and a strong anti-inflammatory. Monday I woke up and my face, arms, and chest looked like I was sunburned. I thought that was weird but didn't think much more of it. Then I was in the shower and my throat started closing up. Thankfully that all passed soon. I went downstairs and took my antibiotic and other medicines just as my mom was getting home. I told her about what happened and she said I'm probably allergic to one of my medicines. Oh great, I just took all my medicines. She called the doctor and while we were waiting for them to call back, the reaction started again. My face got so red and hot and my throat was closing up. The doctor called in a medicine to the pharmacy and we rushed to get it. It didn't stop the reaction so we went to my primary care. They immediately took me back and gave me a steroid shot and a shot of Phenergan. It finally started helping and stopped the reaction. There are several things that I could have been allergic too. It could have been the antibiotic, steroid, or anti-inflammatory. We're thinking it was the antibiotic or anti-inflammatory. So for now I have to stay away from an anti-inflammatory. My doctor prescribed me a new antibiotic which I started yesterday.

I really haven't done anything in the past week because I haven't felt good. I'm just resting and trying to feel better! My infection just started on one side, but now it's in both. The new antibiotic is only 3 days, but hopefully it will work and get rid of the infection. It seems like everyone we know has a sinus infection.

Here is a song that I recently heard and loved it.

Always by Kristian Stanfill
"Troubles surround me, chaos abounding
My soul will rest in You
I will not fear the war, I will not fear the storm
My help is on the way, my help is on the way

Oh, my God, He will not delay
My refuge and strength always
I will not fear, His promise is true
My God will come through always, always

I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord
I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord
I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord
I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord
From You Lord, from You Lord

Oh, my God, He will not delay
My refuge and strength always
I will not fear, His promise is true
My God will come through always, always

Oh, my God, He will not delay
My refuge and strength always, always"

"I lift up my eyes to the mountains—

   where does my help come from?
² My help comes from the LORD,
   the Maker of heaven and earth.
³ He will not let your foot slip—
   he who watches over you will not slumber;" Psalm 121:1-3

I hope you're having a great day!

Newspaper Article is online!

2011-06-25T23:05:00.000-05:00

The article that will be in the newspaper is now online! It's more detailed than the video and has quotes from several more people. I hope you enjoy reading it! We're so glad we were given this opportunity to share our story with Late Stage Lyme Disease.

Oklahoma City woman's family uncovers a medical mystery, Lyme disease | NewsOK.com

Lyme Disease | NewsOK Videos

2011-06-25T15:30:00.001-05:00

Lyme Disease | NewsOK Videos

Click on the link above to watch part of our interview! The article should be in the paper tomorrow or Monday!!

Your questions answered!

2011-06-23T22:10:00.000-05:00

I've had a few questions that I thought I would answer on here! If you have any more questions, please comment on here or email me and I will answer them!

How are you doing, besides physically? -I'm doing good! I'm looking forward to college and getting to hopefully live a more "normal" life. I'm getting do more than I have in a several years. However, when I don't feel good, it seems to be a lot harder than before. As I have more good days where I'm feeling better and seeing some normalcy, it's so hard when reality hits and I'm sick again. This week I have not felt very well because I've had very little sleep, and a constant headache that won't go away despite several medicines. It's a reminder that I'm going to have to take things slower than my friends because I'm still very weak. So I am very thankful for the past few weeks that have been great, and am learning how to balance my health. My body just can't keep up with all that I want to do. It's harder than I thought.
How are you able to do everything that you have done the past couple of weeks (finish high school after not being in school for 2 and a half years, take the ACT, do a news interview about my journey with Lyme Disease, enroll in college, and get out of the house a lot more) when just several weeks ago you were in ICU and very, very sick. -That is a very good question! God has always given me the strength I need to fulfill His plan for my life. Once I got out of the hospital after the stay in ICU due to a severe medicine interaction, I started gaining my strength back and feeling better. I know the 2 months of treatment in Nevada this spring helped a lot, and once the whole ICU/hospital stay was over, I was able to see the effects of going to Nevada.
When will the article about your story with Lyme Disease come out in the paper and be put on the Internet? - The story will be out this Sunday or Monday!! It will be put online at newsok.com with the video of my family and I talking about our journey. I will post on here as soon as it comes up to let you all know!
Are you still doing the hyperbaric oxygen chamber treatment? - Currently no, but we hope to get me started doing that again. We had hoped to start it after we returned from the 2 months in Nevada, but then I ended up in the hospital and since then, we have to be very careful with what I do as far as medicines and treatments. We just got the all clear to start a few of my medicines back up slowly, so hopefully we will be able to start all my treatments again soon. We just have to be extra cautious because of the medicine interaction that landed me a fun stay in the ICU.
What are your plans for the summer? - I'm planning on going to church camp for the last part of the week. It's in a couple of weeks from now. I would love the go the whole week, but I am still not up to doing that. I think just going for a couple of days will be the best thing. I am hoping that I can go on the mission trip with my youth group in late July. It's still hard to plan that far in advance. The rest of the summer I am going to rest and hang out with my friends! I'm going to gain my strength back and get ready for college.
How are you going to handle college after not being in school for so long? - I don't even know the answer to this one! I'm only taking 6 hours of classes a week, so I will have lots of time to rest. I will have to learn how to go to school and balance my health. Thankfully, my house is only 8 minutes away from Oklahoma Christian University, and right next door to our church! I know that I have so many people that God has placed in my life that will help me get through it, just like they have since I got sick. That includes all of you who support with prayers, comments, cards, and encouragement! So thank you!!
Will you still use this blog while you're in college? - Of course I will!! This blog has been such a blessing to me, and I hope that it is a blessing to others. I will keep it updated with college things, life, and health updates.

I am more than happy to answer any other questions about anything, so please don't hesitate to ask!

Tomorrow I think I am going to see my primary care doctor. We think I have a sinus or ear infection or both so we need to see. I'm just not feeling good and have a constant headache that gets worse if I stand up or bend down. I'm praying that it's an easy fix and I'll be feeling better soon.

Good week!

2011-06-19T13:16:00.000-05:00

Last week was a crazy week! Tuesday I finished high school! I had to take 6 tests, but the principle told me to just fill in answers and not actually read anything. I felt so weird doing that, but she said so! So I'm done with high school!!!!

Wednesday was the interview with the news paper about Lyme. My whole family went and we all talked about various things and about our journey through it all. She video taped it also, so when it's online, I will let you know! It went very well!

On Thursday my mom and I went to Oklahoma Christian to get my classes. I'm only taking 6 hours this semester since I haven't been in school in so long, and I'm still not 100%. I'm taking English, Bible, and Intro to Nursing.

On Friday I was too sick to do anything. Last week I didn't sleep at all because of the insomnia and pain, so I'm pretty worn out from everything. I'm starting to get a little more sleep since my medicine is kicking in a little more, but I'm still not sleeping enough. It could take a few more weeks to fully kick in.

Yesterday my parents and I went to Oklahoma Christian University for Take Flight. We got my student ID, computer, and other things to complete the enrollment process. I'm officially a student at OC! There was a lunch yesterday and then we went to talk to the teachers for the department of our majors. I'm so excited for college!

Last Tuesday there was a huge storm that came through and tore up our back porch. Here's a picture.

It took down our pergolas and moved our couch across the porch which is a long way!

Here is my computer from OC!! I love it!

I don't have anything planned for this week which is good because I'm completely worn out from last week. I'm praying the pain and sleep issue will get a lot better soon!

Busy week!

2011-06-13T19:57:00.000-05:00

There's so much going on this week!

I got my ACT scores in the mail on Saturday and I got a 23! I'm very happy with that. Apparently, I'm really good at guessing :) my highest section was science which is perfect since I want to be a nurse.

Today I went to the our primary care doctor for various reasons. When I was in the ICU, I had to get off of the medicine that helps me sleep and helps with pain because it interacted with other medicines they gave me in the ER. Since then, I haven't taken it and I can tell a huge difference. I'm not sleeping well and I hurt all the time. My whole body hurts (from the Lyme) and I have a constant migraine. SO, I really need this medicine. I didn't realize how much it helped until I was off of it.

I'm not sure if I ever explained this, but the whole reason I ended up in the ICU was because the ER put me on all these medicines that interacted with each other and caused a very dangerous reaction (seizures, eyes not responding to light, eyes dilated, pulse in the 150s).

It's been long enough for the all the medicines to be out of my system, so the doctor feels comfortable with letting me start the sleep medicine again. I'll slowly start making my way back up to the dose I'm supposed to be on. She said it could take a few weeks for it to help with the pain. We were hoping it wouldn't take that long, but there's nothing we can do about that.

The doctor also signed papers for me to get a temporary handicap parking permit. At college, freshman can only park at their dorms. That's a long ways from where some of my classes will be! With this permit, I will be able to park by my classes which will help so much. I'm regaining my strength and am stronger than I was, but I still need to take it easy because I'm still recovering and can't walk too far.

Tomorrow I am going to my high school to take the EOI (end of instruction) tests that I've missed so that they can give me my diploma!! I don't have to pass them, I just have to take them. Seems silly to me, but I will do whatever they need me to do. They've been so helpful and supportive.

On Wednesday I am being interviewed by one of the newspapers, The Daily Oklahoman!! They called last week and asked if they could interview me about Lyme. Of course we said yes! They will also video tape the interview. I'm so excited! I will let you know how it goes and when the article will come out!!

Thursday and Saturday I will be getting everything set up for me to attend Oklahoma Christian University this fall. I will probably only take 2 classes this semester since I haven't been to school in 2 and half years. There's no way I could go from no school to a full load. I'm really excited about all of that!!

This week will be crazy, so please pray for strength and good rest.

Thank you for your continued prayers and comments! They mean so much to me!!!

ACT

2011-06-09T19:14:00.000-05:00

This morning I took the ACT...the first real test I've taken in probably 2 and half years. It was hard, but we knew it would be. It's hard for people who have been in school. I just tried to finish every section, and I did. That was my goal. There were a lot of questions that I had no clue what it was talking about, so I just picked which ever answer looked nice. I tried not to stress too hard, but if you know me, you know that's hard for me. You see, before I got sick I was one of those people who did their homework right when they got home from school. I studied for everything and was a great student. School was easy for me, and I got good grades.

As you can imagine, this has been such a huge transition. I went from being on the honor role, to not knowing if I would graduate when I got sick. I had to stop going from school, and school became the least of my worries. I had bigger battles to fight. It's been very hard to accept, but there is no other option.

I have problems now from the Lyme and just not being in school. My concentration is not like it used to be. My memory and comprehension have suffered a lot. It's frustrating. My brain just works differently now, and I am having to re-train it to do things. Just like if you haven't stretched a muscle and you use it, it's not going to work how it used to and it's going to hurt. The brain is the same way. I've lost a lot of the knowledge I had before I got sick. I don't know if once I refresh the information it will come back, or if I'll to learn it all again. I think most of it will be math and how to retain information. It's so very frustrating to feel so behind and like I know nothing. I know that's not true, but it feels like it sometimes.

I'm sure when I start college, it will be hard to get back into school. But slowly I will do it.

"I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13

I think I am going to be a nursing major. I have a passion for that and want to help people. I don't see it as a job, it's a ministry. I would have never wanted to be a nurse if I never got sick. How amazing is that?

So as I start to get ready for college, I will trust God and His plan. A lot of times I don't understand(like today and the school issues). But He says to lean not on my own understanding.

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart

and lean not on your own understanding." Proverbs 3:5

Glorious Day

2011-06-07T11:20:00.000-05:00

I love this song by Casting Crowns. It tells the story of Christ and what He did for us and the day he's coming back for us! It's called Glorious Day (Living He Loved Me)

"One day when Heaven was filled with His praises

One day when sin was as black as could be
Jesus came forth to be born of a virgin
Dwelt among men, my example is He
Word became flesh and the light shined among us
His glory revealed

Living He loved me!
Dying He saved me!
Buried He carried my sins far away!
Rising He justified!
Freely forever!
One day He’s coming!
Oh glorious day!
Oh glorious day

One day they led Him up Calvary’s mountain
One day they nailed Him to die on a tree
Suffering anguish, despised and rejected

Bearing our sins, my Redeemer is He
Hands that healed nations, stretched out on a tree
He took the nails for me!

Living He loved me!
Dying He saved me!
Buried He carried my sins far away!
Rising He justified!
Freely forever!
One day He’s coming!
Oh glorious day!
Oh glorious day!

One day the grave could conceal Him no longer
One day the stone rolled away from the door
Then He arose, over death He had conquered
Now is ascended, my Lord evermore
Death could not hold Him, the grave could not keep Him
From rising again

Living He loved me!
Dying He saved me!
Buried He carried my sins far away!
Rising He justified!
Freely forever!
One day He’s coming!
Oh glorious day!
Oh glorious day!
Glorious day!

One day the trumpet will sound for His coming
One day the skies with His glories will shine
Wonderful day, my Beloved One bringing
My Savior Jesus is mine

Living He loved me!
Dying He saved me!
Buried He carried my sins far away!
Rising He justified!
Freely forever!
One day He’s coming!
Oh glorious day!
Oh glorious day!
Glorious day!
Oh glorious day"

Hope you are having a great day!

Lots going on

2011-06-06T13:47:00.000-05:00

A lot of you were very interested in my date! Haha it was a casual date and was very fun! We got snow cones and then hung out at my house!

Last week I went to our neighborhood pool every day. I also left my house almost every day, even if it was just to get lunch.

Because of all this, I am exhausted today. That is why I'm not going to write much. My body hurts all over and the fatigue is intense. I know it's because I've been doing a lot lately. My body just can't keep up with everything I want to do!

I'm supposed to take several tests this week so that I will be able to get my high school diploma. Graduation was a few weeks ago, and I was in the hospital for that. Even though I haven't been to school in two and a half years, my high school is going to give me my diploma. I was going to just get my GED, but the school has been working with us to get my diploma. They have been great!

So that's what I've been up to. Trying to push myself more each day, but I think I've just worn myself out and that is why I am how I am today. Hopefully I'll be feeling better tomorrow.

Life Lately

2011-05-29T21:58:00.000-05:00

Last week I...

Got out of the house everyday except Monday and yesterday (Saturday)

Went up to church on Tuesday night with everyone and their dog (literally) because of a tornado

Went to church Wednesday night

Had to leave during church Wednesdays because of a seizure

Had friends spend the night Friday night for the first time in at least over a year

Laughed more than I have in a long time Friday night

Drove for the first time in 3 months

Went on date

Had a long seizure yesterday

Did not have to go to the hospital

Today I went to church for the first time in 3 months (except for last week when I went to the evening service for Senior night).

Today all my friends left for the senior trip at church. Every year the graduating seniors go on a fun trip with one of the youth ministers. This year they are going to Colorado. I would have gone had it not been for my seizures and recent issues.

Recently I found this song called Carry Me by Audrey Assad which reminded me of this verse. I'm so thankful that God carries us through everything and never lets us go.

"Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you" Isaiah 46:4

Carry Me by Audrey Assad
"Pain is a forest we all get lost in
Between the branches hope can be so hard to see
And in the darkness we've all got questions
We're all just trying to make sense out of suffering but

You say I am blessed because of this
So, I choose to believe
As I carry this cross, You'll carry me
Help me believe it
Fear is a current we all get caught in
And in its motion faith can be so hard to find
And we all falter 'cause we're all broken
We're all just trying to turn the shadows into light but

You get glory in the midst of this
And You're walking with me
And you say I am blessed because of this
So, I choose to believe
As I carry this cross, You'll carry me

And I know Your promises are faithful
And God, I've seen Your goodness in my life
And oh, I've found Your mercy is a river
Your love is an ocean wide
You say I am blessed because of this
You get glory in the midst of this
And You're walking with me

And You say I am blessed because of this
So, I choose to believe
As I carry this cross, as I carry this cross
'Cause as I carry this cross, You'll carry me

You'll carry me, God
You'll carry me
And Your love is an ocean wide"

Pictures from the past week!

2011-05-23T14:35:00.000-05:00

I think this picture was from when I was in ICU. I'm not exactly sure though

Some people from church and their kids made me this beautiful sign and brought it to the hospital!

Last night was Senior night at church. The senior guys lead the worship. Then, they called us one by one on stage to shake the elders hands and receive a Bible they gave each of us. After church, everyone went to look at each of the seniors table where we set up pictures and things about us. After that, our immediate families had a dinner where the youth ministers talked about each of us. Here are pictures from the night.

My youth ministers!

At the end of the service, everyone who had any connection to one of the seniors came and surrounded us while we sang a song and had the closing prayer.

It was such a great night.

home!

2011-05-22T21:57:00.002-05:00

Im home! I got home Friday night! And i actually got to go to church tonight for the senior night where they honor the high school seniors and give them each Bibles. Tomorrow I'll post pictures of it!

ICU

2011-05-18T07:30:00.001-05:00

Yesterday i started having seizure like convulsions and they wouldn't stop. We came to the hospital and now Im in the ICU. Please Pray

another update

2011-05-17T14:16:00.000-05:00

Like i said, i went to the ER Wednesday. Thursday was a pretty good day. I just rested.

Thursday night i did not sleep well at all. My body felt restless and would shake. I took several baths to try and stop it and that worked for a while.

When i went downstairs around 11 Friday morning i still felt that way. My dad went to the store to get baking soda and Epsom salts. If you mix 3 cups of Epsom salts and 1 cup of baking soda in your bath, it helps detox and draw out toxins.

The next thing i knew, my jaw locked and was locked so hard that it was making my mouth bleed. Then, my arms, hands, and legs locked up. It looked like i was having a stroke.

We rushed to our primary care doctor. I had no shoes and was in my pajamas. When they saw me, they told us to go straight to the ER. They were going to call an ambulance but decided we could just go. I was so scared because i knew it looked like a stroke. My vision got blurry and i was just so scared.

We got to the hospital and they immediately knew what was wrong. It was a severe allergic reaction to medicine they gave me Wednesday night in the ER.

They got an iv started and gave me iv benadryll and ativan. It was amazing how fast it stopped everything. It started coming back after a while so they gave me more, plus a nerve medicine. I forgot what it's for. They said that these kind of reactions are so scary cause your whole body cramps and hurts. My hands and toes actually curled up too. It felt like my throat was closing up.

After the second dose of medicine, we got to go home. I was never taken to a room, they did everything in the waiting room because i needed the medicine fast. We were so shocked at how the medicines helped immediately. The reaction also causes nausea and a few other random things.

They told me to stay on benadryll even in the middle of the night for several days.

Saturday i woke up with the same problems. It wasn't as bad as Friday, but was getting worse so we went back to the hospital. Once they got me to a room, they did the benadryll and ativan and some pain and nausea medicine.

That's all i remember. Then i went crazy from the ativan. Apparently i thought i was in Disney world. I tried using my hand as a phone. My family has been telling me everything i did and its so funny. I do remember crying because they were laughing at me. Haha it's hilarious.

Sunday, My family went to church while i rested at home. A few hours later, the reaction happened again. It was so scary. We rushed to the hospital and waited a year before they took me to a room. They did the usual ativan and benadryll which helped a lot. It wore off quickly so i had to have another dose.

Im also on another medicine with the benadryll to keep things under control.

Ever since Wednesday, everything has been a blur, probably from a the medicine.

So i have now been to the ER 4 times since Wednesday. The nurses know me and are very helpful.

Thank you for the prayers!!!! I have several posts going around in my head, so i will try and post more. My eyes are just blurry which makes it hard to write.

2011-05-16T15:17:00.000-05:00

Another short update. Since my last post I've been to the ER 3 more times. I've been having a severe allergic reaction to a medicine they gave me in the ER on Wednesday. So I've been to the hospital 4 times since Wednesday. I think Im doing better, Im on meds around the clock to keep the reaction from coming back. I'll post more later when Im up to it. Please pray the reaction stays under control

update

2011-05-12T14:46:00.000-05:00

Just a quick update. Last night I had to go to the ER. The pain got so bad and i was passing out a lot. All my tests at the ER were normal, which is great. We were worried that something else was wrong. After they watched me and got the pain under control, we got to come home. Im doing better today, just resting like I should be.

My doctor in Nevada is the best. My parents called him yesterday to see what we should do since i was passing out. He just called to check on me again. They are so busy there but they took the time to call and check on me. We are so thankful for them!!!!

Im home!!!!!

2011-05-08T12:18:00.001-05:00

Im home!!! We got home late last night. I'll update more later but i just wanted you to know Im home! Im on bedrest for the next could weeks so Im just hanging out at home. One of my favorite shows, "Untold Stories Of the ER" is on all day so Im pretty excited! They must have known Im stuck at home and need something to watch. I feel right at home watching it! I love understanding everything they say.
I'll post more soon! Happy Mothers Day!

I'm going home Saturday!

2011-05-04T15:19:00.000-05:00

Wow! A lot has happened since my last update. First of all, May is Lyme Disease awareness month! I'll be writing more about that in the next few weeks.

My doctor thinks I have a stomach ulcer, so he put me on several medicines to help heal that. I take them before I eat, which helps me keep food down. Last week I was not keeping anything down. I'm doing better with that!

Thursday I had a very strong reaction to the push. We ended up calling my doctor at 3am because my parents were having to hold me down because I was shaking so much and in so much pain. I shook violently from 11pm-4am. My hair was a matted mess because of the shaking. It finally calmed down after several doses of medicine at 4am or so. My doctor called Friday to check on me since I didn't go to the clinic. We know that it(the push) definitely killed lots of bad things in me!

I was able to do some fun things with my family over the weekend!

I'm on a very strict diet because of the ulcer and intestinal problems. If anyone has any ideas for what I can eat, feel free to share. I've been eating a lot of chicken noodle soup, rice, jello, applesauce, bananas, and things like that. Of course I'm craving everything I can't have.

On Monday I had a reaction to something which caused me to be in lots of pain and I passed out several times. We rushed back to the clinic after we got to the apartment because I kept passing out. My doctor and a nurse stayed with us until 9pm. They gave me some medicine and watched me. They ended up giving me medicine to relax which left me almost knocked out, so I slept well that night.

Because of everything that's happened, my doctor says I need a break. He thinks I have a sensitivity to saline, which is in almost everything they use. That happens from getting it too much. It's happened before. That might be why everything aggravates my abdomen, causing more pain. If we keep aggravating my abdomen and intestines, they won't heal. All that to say, I'm coming home Saturday!!!!!!!!! I'm taking a break from the clinic to let everything start healing. We meet with my doctor one more time tomorrow before we go home.

I can't wait to get home! Thank you so much for everything you've done while I've been here. I've been here a little over 8 weeks, and it's been a long trip. I'm so thankful for my doctor and nurses here. We will stay in close contact with my doctor when we get home, and once my abdomen, intestines, and stomach heal, we will start on the treatments they send home with us.

My doctor and the staff here is amazing. I've never seen people so dedicated to helping patients. There have been many, many days when they've stayed late into the night with us at the clinic because I needed something. They also answer their phones at 3am if you need them! They give up a lot of Saturdays to be at the clinic to give us one more day of treatment. I'm so thankful for them. I so wish they were closer to our house and not across the country. But you do what you have to.

Please continue to pray for a safe trip home and continued healing. I've come a long way, and still have a ways to go. Thank you for the prayers!!!

surprise!

2011-04-28T13:48:00.002-05:00

I realize I haven't told you what happened last week. I will eventually, but the short story is I have some kind of stomach and intestinal infection. This week has been like last week, but not as bad. I've been getting vitamin C IVs along with tons of fluids. Im still throwing up a few times a day. Yesterday I did a detox IV and I had a terrible reaction to it. The abdominal pain got horrible, and I threw up, making the pain worse. It made my whole body hurt too and I got so hot. They gave me some kind of medicine in my IV, but that made everything worse so they ended up giving me another dose of Dilauded (pain medicine). That finally calmed it down. I was in so much pain and crying so hard.

I haven't done pushes the past week because of the stomach/intestinal thing. I was supposed to start them yesterday again, but after the IV we decided not to. Im so glad we didn't because we got a surprise last night!

Earlier this week, my dad told us someone from church was coming to Reno for work. He was bringing some presents for my mom and I from my dad and brother. So my mom was supposed to meet him at the airport when he got here and get the gifts that my dad sent.

My mom got to the airport a few minutes before the plane landed at 11pm last night. She was waiting for the guy from church, when she sees my dad and brother coming down the escalator!! She was so confused and thought she was seeing things!

So they are here for several days!!!! The guy who was supposed to be bringing our presents actually got the plane tickets for my dad and brother! They decided to come just a few days ago, so it was a last minute thing. We were SO surprised. I stayed at the apartment and didn't know they were here until they walked in the door and I was shocked!!! We stayed up really late and thankfully got to sleep in this morning. They are here until Sunday! What a great surprise! We haven't seen them in over a month.

Later today we are meeting with my doctor for our weekly appointment. I'll try and update later tonight or tomorrow, depending on if I do a push and how Im feeling.

Thank you for all the prayers and cards and packages!! We've been so blessed by you all and can't thank you enough. Thank you to the person who got my dad and brother plane tickets to come visit us!!