This morning I took the ACT...the first real test I've taken in probably 2 and half years. It was hard, but we knew it would be. It's hard for people who have been in school. I just tried to finish every section, and I did. That was my goal. There were a lot of questions that I had no clue what it was talking about, so I just picked which ever answer looked nice. I tried not to stress too hard, but if you know me, you know that's hard for me. You see, before I got sick I was one of those people who did their homework right when they got home from school. I studied for everything and was a great student. School was easy for me, and I got good grades.
As you can imagine, this has been such a huge transition. I went from being on the honor role, to not knowing if I would graduate when I got sick. I had to stop going from school, and school became the least of my worries. I had bigger battles to fight. It's been very hard to accept, but there is no other option.
I have problems now from the Lyme and just not being in school. My concentration is not like it used to be. My memory and comprehension have suffered a lot. It's frustrating. My brain just works differently now, and I am having to re-train it to do things. Just like if you haven't stretched a muscle and you use it, it's not going to work how it used to and it's going to hurt. The brain is the same way. I've lost a lot of the knowledge I had before I got sick. I don't know if once I refresh the information it will come back, or if I'll to learn it all again. I think most of it will be math and how to retain information. It's so very frustrating to feel so behind and like I know nothing. I know that's not true, but it feels like it sometimes.
I'm sure when I start college, it will be hard to get back into school. But slowly I will do it.
"I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13
I think I am going to be a nursing major. I have a passion for that and want to help people. I don't see it as a job, it's a ministry. I would have never wanted to be a nurse if I never got sick. How amazing is that?
So as I start to get ready for college, I will trust God and His plan. A lot of times I don't understand(like today and the school issues). But He says to lean not on my own understanding.
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding." Proverbs 3:5
Two of my favourite verses right there. I think it's amazing that you're even back to take the tests & graduate and then go to college - you should be proud of those huge achievements, although I know it must be really frustrating to feel like you've got behind.
ReplyDeleteWell done on finishing all the sections though! I am just so in awe of how much you do and achieve and how amazing your attitude is in spite of everything. I think you would make an incredible nurse - your experiences and your compassion would make you perfect for it.