I love this book!

This weekend the youth group is having a girls bonfire at a lake close by. I was asked to give a short talk and I chose to talk about the book of Habakkuk. I don't think very many people have read Habakkuk but it is such a great book!

There are only 3 chapters and it is a conversation between God and Habakkuk. Habakkuk starts out.

“ How long, O LORD, must I call for help,
but you do not listen?
Or cry out to you, "Violence!"
but you do not save?
Why do you make me look at injustice?
Why do you tolerate wrong?
Destruction and violence are before me;
there is strife, and conflict abounds.
Therefore the law is paralyzed,
and justice never prevails.
The wicked hem in the righteous,
so that justice is perverted” Habakkuk 1:2-4

So Habakkuk is crying out to God, asking why His people are allowed to suffer. He wants to know how much longer they will have to suffer. God answers-

“Look at the nations and watch—
and be utterly amazed.
For I am going to do something in your days
that you would not believe,
even if you were told.” Habakkuk 1:5

Habakkuk asks again why all of this is happening. God replies-

“But the LORD is in his holy temple;
let all the earth be silent before him." Habakkuk 2:20

Habakkuk then goes on to trusting God’s plan and praising Him even though He can’t see at the time what God is doing

“LORD, I have heard of your fame;
I stand in awe of your deeds, O LORD.
Renew them in our day,
in our time make them known;
in wrath remember mercy.” Habakkuk 3:2

Habakkuk ends with these verses-

“Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,

yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.
The Sovereign LORD is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to go on the heights. ” Habakkuk 3:17-19

• This book shows us that it is okay to question God, but to do it with respect

• Sometimes to get to the point where we will trust God completely, we have to go through suffering to understand how much we need God

• We need to be still and wait for Him because He always has a plan and is always in control

• He is always on His throne no matter where we are in life


• I love reading this because I know there are so many times where I ask God how much longer? God I’ve been in this trial for long enough. But the more that I trust God and wait for Him, the more blessings come out of this and the closer I grow to Him.

• The first time I read Habakkuk it reminded me of the song Praise You in this Storm. I’m sure you all have heard it but these are the lyrics that I thought of

“I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say Amen, and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

[Chorus:]
And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm”

I highly encourage you to read Habakkuk! It's a great book!!

Update

Last week I did pretty well! I got to go to lunch with my friends on Wednesday and then to church that night! On Thursday, I got to go out to eat lunch with my grandparents which was very fun!! On Friday, I went to senior lunch and then to dinner with some friends! It was so much fun to be able to do some normal things!!

Everything was going pretty well until Friday evening. My abdomen started hurt a lot more than normal and I was a little nauseous. So I came home and just rested. On Saturday morning I went to my brothers last football game! We went out to eat after that. On the way to the restaurant I got nauseous again and had more abdominal pain. I tried to ignore it. As we got our food, I just began to feel horrible. All of the sudden I started getting horrible abdominal cramps and almost got sick. Like bending over almost screaming abdominal cramps. My mom went to sit in the car with me while my dad and brother finished up. The pain let up a little on the way home and I took some nausea medicine. As soon as I got home I rushed to take a bath to see if that would help. Through out the day I keep getting sick. I'll spare you the details but I was sick in more way than one. And it was bad.

On Saturday night I had decided that I would sleep in and not go to morning church but just go to the evening worship because the youth group was doing something special.

As I mentioned before the youth group is doing something called Mission 127. It's an opportunity to get out in the community and share the love of Christ. Sunday night, there were tables around the youth room to sign up for different service opportunities. I'm overseeing one of the mission opportunities so I was supposed to stand at my table and give out information.

Well I got up Sunday and took a shower and decided that there was no way that I could go to church or do anything. I was so devastated. I know the youth group can go on without me, but once again I had to let people down because I was so sick.

Yesterday I was not able to take my pain medicine because the nausea was so bad. Pain medicine makes you nauseous anyway so I was really scared to take it. I was on two different kinds of nausea medicine but I was still sick all day. The abdominal pain was so bad but we couldn't do anything about it because of the nausea. It was horrible. I only had had a little to eat yesterday and almost nothing to drink because I was too sick. So we called the on-call surgeon and he told me I could take the nausea medicine more often than I was. But we found that out at 10pm so it didn't really do much for us.

Today I feel about the same. I feel exhausted and just a general sick feeling. The medicines are making me very out of it.

Today I had another post op appointment with the surgeon. The good news is that the problems I am having aren't from any complications from the surgery. That was ruled out with blood work! So that's good. But he doesn't know what exactly is going on. He knows it's not just a virus. Because of something that happened this weekend, he wants me to see a GI doctor asap. They are supposed to set up an appointment in the next couple of days. If they don't call us in the next 2 days, we are supposed to call the surgeon. I love that about him. He doesn't want any messing around. He just wants things done fast!

The surgeon gave me more nausea medicine and told me that I can actually take double of what I've been taking. So tonight that has helped some and I even ate a little! I have another appointment to see the surgeon next Monday. He did say the incisions are looking great!

I had made it this far without having to see a GI doctor but apparently I signed up to see every kind of doctor there is in the world. Please pray that they figure out what is causing all these problems. I'm very tired of seeing new doctors and having more tests. But if it will help, then I'm all for it.

I hate to admit it...

Hello, my name is Victoria and I'm obsessed with too many tv shows. Like Untold Stories of the ER. And Castle, and Biggest Loser, and Dancing With the Stars, and House, and 19 Kids and Counting, and NCIS, and The Office, and Glee, and Extreme Home Makeover, and Mystery Diagnosis, and The Middle, and Outsourced, and Say Yes to the Dress. And formal shows like Lost, American Idol, and 24.

Just to name a couple. I wouldn't name more than a couple cause that would be a little obsessive to actually make a list of what I watch. I definitely do not get stressed out when there are too many of my shows on at once and my tv can't record all of them. If that happend and I actually spent the day mapping out how I can turn on all the tvs in my house to a different show and run back and forth to watch all the shows at once, I might be a little too obsessed. But I would never do any of that, right? Wrong. I feel for the characters in those shows. It's ridiculous.

Do you know how stressed out I get when they can't figure out what the person on Mystery Diagnosis has?! Good grief, I'm over here researching for the person on tv who I know will have their case solved because every Mystery Diagnosis case is solved. But even though I know they will figure out what is wrong with person, those 49 minutes where they don't know is so stressful!

Is it even possible not to watch Extreme Home Makeover without crying your eyes out and wanting to change the world? Not that that's a bad thing!

Let's talk about Untold Stories Of the ER. How many of you have watched that? Have you even heard of that? None? Well it's probably good that you don't watch it. Trust me. It's so dramatic and I have no idea why I watch it. Could they be any more dramatic about a stubbed toe? And the patients that come in who just want pain medicine or attention? Wow. That's all I can say. They are so dramatic about everything. I think the show is like a soap opera. I've never watched one but I think Untold Stories of the ER is like that. It's hilarious actually.

Now we can talk about House. I just realized I'm talking about the medical shows...oh well! House is a great show! I love trying to figure out what's going on with the patient! But...every single time that someone has to have an MRI or CT scan or something like that, they crash while they are in the MRI tube. Every time. At least once on every episode someone will be getting an MRI and then something bad will happen to them while they are in there. Are the writers trying to scare people away from MRI machines or what? Cause anytime I go in for tests I always think about that.

It's a strange feeling to watch these medical shows for a couple of reasons...First of all, on all of these shows, they will shout that the patient has tachycardia and is coding and they need a crash cart. Then, they will shock them back to life. Umm I've lived with tachycardia for over 6 months and it's normal for me! That's a little weird and scary...

Second, they also call a code when the patients blood pressure is 85/60. Everyone rushes in and tries to save the patient from dying. Again, I managed to get out of bed, make myself lunch, and

get out of the house with a blood pressure sometimes lower with that and not think anything of it. That's just life with Lyme I guess!

Last night a new show came on called Outsourced. It was hilarious!! It's about this company that sells American novelties and they relocated to India. So the workers that they hired in India have to answer the phones and try to sell the novelties. The company has to try and explain why anyone would want to buy any of it! It is SO funny!!!

The Middle is one of the best shows I have ever seen! It is such a funny family show!! It comes on on Wednesday nights.

I'm currently watching Gilmore Girls and I'm on season 5. I started watching it a few days before my surgery which means I've watched a lot of it. I love having a show to watch constantly after surgery!

Why am I so into so many shows? That's what you do when you're sick! That's all you can do when you're sick! It's sad because I actually find myself thinking about the people in the medical shows, wondering if they are okay. Then I come back to earth and realize they are fine because they are actors.

Now you know what I struggle with...thanks for listening.

Things to do while getting IVs!

Yesterday I finally got my IV supplies delivered! The last time I had my port accessed was when I was in the hospital for gallbladder problems a week before my surgery. Usually I do IVs 3 times a week but I haven't done any since my surgery. I just didn't want the IV fluid to come spilling out of my incisions because that happens a lot you know. Just kidding, I just kept forgetting to order them. You have to flush the port often to make sure it doesn't get a blood clot. So my mom accessed my port yesterday and I did an IV! I left the needle in my port overnight so that I could do another IV tonight. The IV can take anywhere from 2 to 4 hours. It just depends!

Of course you have to make IV time fun! Here are some things you can do...

You can...leave the IV pole and machine in the living room and just carry the bag while you take medicine!

You can...again leave the pole in the living room because it doesn't roll very well and just hang it on the cabinet door handles over the oven or refrigerator while you cook up a delicious treat.

I mean, who doesn't hang an IV bag there?

You can... play wii with your brother! But you have to be very careful not to rip your IV out while doing intense moves. That would not be good and would guarantee a field trip to see my nurse friends at the hospital.
Notice Squirt (my IV pole obviously) on the left. They shortened the length of the IV tubing so I had to be extra careful and stay close to Squirt.

haha look at Landon's face


You can...take a stroll to the mail box and watch the faces of the people driving by. Then you wave and smile and wonder why they have that weird look on their face. Oh maybe it's because I'm hooked up to an IV...at my house.
You can... have your family bring you anything that you want because it's "too hard" to get things for yourself while hooked up to an IV machine. Make sure and really take advantage of this one!
You can...try to hypnotize yourself by watching the IV slowly drip...
You can...try to beat your record on how fast you can get to the bathroom with your IV pole and machine. Let me tell ya, it's not easy. Those rugs get in the way!
See, IV time doesn't have to be completely boring! I'm sure I'll come up with new things to do! Let me know if you have more ideas!

So many great things happening!

Yesterday I got to go to church!! It was the first time in 6 WEEKS. I cannot tell you how much I had missed it. It was WONDERFUL to be there and to worship with my church family. They have been so supportive of us the past 2 years that I've been really sick by bringing food, coming to the hospital to see me, sending cards, and most of all just praying and giving encouragement and love. Every time I go to church I'm overwhelmed by the love. Yes our church is huge (over 2000 people I think), but to me it feels like home. I've gone there my whole life and it seems like I know everyone. Of course I don't know everyone. Church is like my second home.

At the leadership team lock-in we created "teams". Just like last year, I am on the prayer team. I love being a part of this group. During this summer, God has been working on our youth group in amazing ways. We described it as an explosion of love! There is an attitude change within us. People have started actually opening up about their lives and struggles. It seems like we understand how God can use us and we are willing to be used. God has opened our eyes and hearts. It's incredible how you can feel that things are really changing. There are prayer times that are happening at schools during lunch. There are worship times that just happen in the moment.

This year we are starting something called Mission 127. Mission 127 was started after this verse from James 1:27.

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." James 1:27

We had a lesson that challenged us to rethink this verse. Yes, it means to help actual orphans and widows. But, it also means spiritual orphans. People who have never known their Heavenly Father. They have never had a relationship with Him. It also means spiritual widows. People who have know Christ, but who have been separated from Him from sin or other reasons. They did know Him, but for whatever reason have fallen away from Him.

I had really never thought about it that way. So Mission 127 is our opportunity to help those orphans and widows. They have picked 12 different places around Oklahoma City. We are going to pick 1 primary place that we are willing to let God use us. Every Saturday (I think) we will go to our place and form a relationship with the people there.

"It's not about religion, it's about a relationship"

Just as knowing God is about a relationship, trying to tell people about Jesus isn't just about giving rules or guidelines. It's about showing love to people first and then studying with them about what God wants us to do.

Back to yesterday, we had our first prayer team meeting. There are 10 of us in the group. We came up with so many different ways to pray for the things happening. We are going to go to each of the 12 places in our city and spend time praying for those places and the people who are there. We spent time praying for Mission 127 but also just for God to keep changing our hearts. We have started thinking about different times to pray for things about to happen. Like before a worship service or even stay in the lobby during a worship service to pray while the service is going on that God would change the hearts of people in the worship time. Or going downtown and just walking around and praying for the people we see.

It's amazing how fast time flies when you are spending time praying with people. Yesterday's hour flew by so fast! I also love getting a quick text from someone in the prayer group with a prayer request for them or for someone they know who needs prayers right then.

I really can't wait to see how God plans to use our youth group to help reach out to others. He is really changing our hearts.

This is from a song called Lead Me by Sanctus Real

"So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I'm called to be
Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't You lead me?
To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love,
Chasing things that I could give up
I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone
Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone"

If you have any thing that you would like us to pray for please let me know. We would love to pray for you!

Great Day!

Yesterday I got to get out of the house and do some fun things!!!

Every Friday the youth group has what they call Senior Lunch. Since seniors can leave school for lunch, they all meet at a different restaurant every week with the youth ministers. It's awesome because seniors from several schools get to have lunch together! I hadn't been before since I've been so sick the past month. Well yesterday one of the youth ministers picked me up and I got to go to senior lunch! The high schools have two lunches and I have friends in both lunches so I got to be there for both groups!! I can't wait to go to senior lunch every week!

After lunch, I got to spend time with my grandma! She wanted to take me to get some new clothes for fall and winter! I honestly don't buy new clothes very much. Shopping just takes too much energy and I'd rather spend money on something else. I don't think I need new clothes because I have perfectly good clothes. But I do need new clothes every once in a while!

So we went to Maurices and then to Old Navy since they are right next to each other. I got a great coat from Old Navy that I can wear to church! From Maurices, I got 2 great sweaters that are so unique. We got a necklace and a couple of shirts to go with them. I'm ready for it to be cooler so that I can wear them!!

Of course we had to visit Starbucks for some iced tea! I got my grandma addicted to their iced tea. We had a great time and I'm so glad we got to go! It was a little challenging trying on clothes while trying to keep the pain minimal. You don't realize how much you use your stomach muscles! They are used for everything. We had a wonderful time though!

After shopping, I went home to rest. I was exhausted! Around dinner time one of my friends came to see me. We just talked until 10pm! Time went by so fast. It was so much fun!

As I've mentioned before, my youth group has a leadership team. The leadership team consists of smaller teams. Some of the teams are prayer, service, visitor, teaching, announcements, and things like that. The teams are supposed to be leaders who will get the youth group involved in different things. It's so neat to see people so devoted to serving Christ and people. At the beginning of every year we have a leadership team lock-in. The lock-in was last night.

Obviously I cannot be up doing things all night. I wasn't planning on going at all but at the last minute I decided to go. I was so sad that I couldn't stay the whole time, but I did go for a couple of hours! I got there around 10:30pm and came home at 12:30. I didn't go to sleep until 3am because I couldn't take my sleep medicine until I got home. I was also hurting a lot which kept me from sleeping.

Today I plan on resting and resting. I really want to be able to make it through church tomorrow! I'm definitely paying for all that I did yesterday but it was so much fun. It was the first time I had really gotten out of the house in over a month. It was so great! I'm still taking the pain medicine around the clock because the pain is still a big challenge. It's wonderful to be able to get out of the house even if it still hurts despite the pain medicine.

Surgery Follow Up Appointment- Surgery is kinda like an invisible illness!

I did try to go to church on Sunday! It didn't go as well as I hoped but at least I got there. I didn't stay very long because I broke down from the pain and fatigue. But it was really great to see everyone!

On Tuesday I had my first follow up appointment with the surgeon! It went very well! We really wish the surgeon was a regular doctor. He is so genuinely caring and wants to listen to what is going on.

He took all the tape off of my incisions and scraped some dried blood (eww) off of them. He said the incisions are looking very good!! Some of the stitches are poking out from inside and he asked if I wanted him to take them out or just let the dissolve. Of course I said let them dissolve! Duh!

It's been 3 weeks since surgery and a week ago I ran out of pain medicine. We called the surgeon's office to tell them and they said they don't refill pain medicine. They said to use Advil and they were very rude about it. So that's what I did. It wasn't pleasant and I was in a lot of pain.

We told that to the surgeon and he got so mad. They never told him that we called. He kept apologizing and was very nice about the whole thing. He explained that usually they want you to be off the pain medicine soon after surgery and that they don't refill pain medicine. But because of my situation, he knew I needed to stay on it longer. Before surgery he was really good at wanting to understand my pain and how surgery would affect it. He actually cared and was concerned.

So on Tuesday he wanted to know about all the pain I'm experiencing. I'm having pain in places that normally shouldn't hurt. He wants some tests done to make sure everything is okay. On Tuesday he sent me to the lab for some blood work. Depending on what the blood work shows I might have a ct scan.

Before my appointment I was a little discouraged because I'm still in a lot of pain. I only have 4 small incisions so why am I hurting so much? He reminded me of what is going on inside my abdomen. He explained what he did during surgery and that to get to the gallbladder he had to cut through muscle. And he did take an organ out and cut adhesions off my liver. My body has to adjust. I felt better after he explained that a little more. It is a bigger deal than I think

Surgery is just like invisible illnesses sometimes. Yes I only have 4 small incisions. But there's so much going on inside that I can't see. That is where the pain is coming from.

He said that I look good, but that I look uncomfortable and in pain. He actually told me to take my pain medicine for a while longer. What?! A doctor actually saw how much pain I'm in and told me to take pain medicine? I never thought I'd see the day! He apologized again for the lack of communication regarding the refills.

I go back to see him in a week and a half!

Thank you for the prayers for my recovery and for the cards and everything!