One good reason for shots!

One of the shots I do is a desensitization shot for the Amitriptyline (sleep medicine that was possible what put me in the hospital a couple weeks ago). We think that medicine is what caused my heart problems. But the thing is, that is the ONLY medicine in the whole wide world that helps me sleep. Remember when I said I'm on enough medicine to tranquilize a horse and it did nothing to me? Yeah I still have that problem. So when I got off of the Amitriptyline in Nevada, my sleep went way down hill and it keeps getting worse. The past couple days have been really hard from the lack of sleep so we emailed my doctor in Nevada and asked if I could start the Amitriptyline again since I'm on the desensitization shots. He said yes!!!! We will really have to monitor my heart rate and rhythm though. Please pray that I will not have any of the serious heart problems again from the medicine. I am starting on a very low dose then working back up to the highest dose I can be on (Remember horse tranquilizing problem again). I need to sleep. I won't get better unless I sleep.

It feels like we just go in circles chasing one problem after another. I can't sleep so I'm put on sleep medicine. The sleep medicine causes heart problems. I'm put on heart medicine to help heart problems but those side effects turn me into another person, causing me not to sleep.

Just like when I can't sleep because I'm in pain. But when I don't sleep I'm in more pain which causing me not to sleep and so on....

This is how it is with EVERY problem I have and it's so frustrating. It's really hard to figure out if the side effects are worth it.

Yesterday I did so much! It was wonderful!!!! But at the end of the day, I started to crash. When I got home I got so sick. I started hurting so much and was nauseous. I was not a happy camper. It was not pleasant to be so exhausted but not able to sleep.

Today I'm in a lot of pain and just don't feel well at all. Not being able to rest or sleep is the worst thing in the world. It means you never get a break from anything.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13

I heard this song yesterday and it reminds me that God does have a plan for everything and that I am where I'm supposed to be, even when I wish it was different.

Our God is in Control by Steven Curtis Chapman

This is not how it should be

This is not how it could be

This is how it is

And our God is in control

This is not how it will be

When we finally will see

We'll see with our own eyes

He was always in control

And we'll sing holy, holy, holy is our God

And we will finally really understand what it means

So we'll sing holy, holy, holy is our God

While we're waiting for that day

This is not where we planned to be

When we started this journey

But this is where we are

And our God is in control

Though this first taste is bitter

There will be sweetness forever

When we finally taste and see

That our God is in control

And we'll sing holy, holy, holy is our God

And we will finally really understand what it means

So we'll sing holy, holy, holy is our God

While we're waiting for that day

We're waiting for that day

We'll keep on waiting for that day

And we will rise

Our God is in control

(Holy, holy, holy) x2

Our God is in control

(Holy, holy, holy)

Our God is in control

(Holy, holy, holy)