Birthday celebrations- Surprise party and more!

I had such a great weekend!! I went out to eat my parents and brother on Friday night! Then, I was going to go to the lock in, and they were going to Landon's basketball game. The lock in started at 10 pm, so my friends picked me up. We got there and had worship and a lesson on praying. After that, the games started. They had huge nerf gun wars, and it was intense! My friends and I just walked around and watched everyone (we didn't want to play and embarrass everyone since we're so good you know ;) ). It was getting close to midnight, which was my scheduled prayer time. Before I went into the prayer room, my friends and I counted down until midnight and they started screaming and yelling happy birthday! It was so much fun! So after that, I went into the prayer room. I assumed everyone would keep playing games for a few more hours. I was only scheduled to be in the prayer room for 20 minutes. Of course you can stay longer though.

Apparently, right when I went into the prayer room, my family got to church, everyone ran into the high school room, and threw balloons and streamers everywhere. One of the youth ministers and interns kept coming in the prayer room and looking around, which I thought was weird. I guess they had to make sure I didn't leave or something. I also noticed that it had gotten quiet in the halls outside of the prayer room. That was odd, but I didn't think anything of it. So as our prayer time was almost over, Megan (one of the youth ministers) told everyone they had to leave the prayer room and go to the high school room to explain a game. Ok that was weird! They have never gotten people out of the prayer room for a "game". I knew something was going on, but I had no idea what.

Megan pulled me aside and asked me all these questions, trying to stall. That wasn't weird cause she's very good at asking how I am :)

We started walking to the high school room, and it was dark in there and quiet. The youth group is never quiet. I opened the door and they turned on the lights and yelled surprise! They dumped balloons on me and everything!! Then they took me on stage to play "Victoria trivia". The winner got the 2nd piece of cake. Well the game was tricky because I had to give the correct answer. You think that would be easy, but it wasn't. For example, the first question was what is her favorite color? I don't have a favorite color and it was multiple choice (my mom made the questions and answers!) so I just picked a color. It was really funny that I couldn't even answer questions about myself!

After the game, everyone got cake and got back to playing games! My cake was a white, tall circle with real roses and flowers. It was gorgeous! It was chocolate and vanilla with strawberries and cream separating the layers. The whole cake was gone within minutes! I didn't have any because I was feeling sick, but thankfully my parents got one for Saturday at home. My family hung out for a while and then back home. It was probably 1:45 before they went home. Way past their bedtimes! Those rebels. I'm so glad they came!

This was the room after the surprise party. I'm told people video taped when I came in, so I need to get those!

I wanted to stay for a special worship and prayer time which was at 2 am. That ended around 3 am I think, and then my friends took me home. I got home and wasn't feeling good and immediately threw up. I went to sleep at 4, but didn't sleep well at all. I got out of bed at 10 am, and got sick again. I felt like I got beaten up. My whole body hurt down to my bones. That's what I get for getting home at 3 am! I took some medicine to be able to make it through the day.

My friends were coming over at 3:45 and we were going to go eat an early dinner, and then hang out at my house. I rested and got ready until they got to my house. We took pictures, and then went to eat! We had really cute waiters at dinner that sang to me. Dinner was so much fun!!

We then came back home to have cake and hang out. We spent our time wisely, playing Mad Libs and watching Youtube videos. I haven't laughed that much in so long! It was great!! Here are some pictures.

Me and Natalie

Kailey and I

Me and Hannah

The whole group!

Hannah, me, Natalie, Alex

This was my cake! Isn't it gorgeous?

It was a wonderful weekend! Thank you all so much for the sweet comments and birthday wishes. And thank you to everyone who helped with my surprise party! I have the best friends and family. I am so blessed.



My Birthday! It Is Well With My Soul

Today is my 18th birthday!

The first thing I think of when I think of being 18 is being able to sign my own medical papers. I can sign myself in and out of the hospital! Except not really because usually I get medicine that makes me really loopy, so I'm not allowed to sign myself out. It's not that I want to sign the papers, it's just knowing I could. Plus if I sign out I have to pay and that's what parents are for right? :)

I've done a lot in my 18 years! I've been to Europe 3 times, and South America 3 times, all for mission trips. I've traveled across the US multiple times. In 5th grade I received the "Student of Today" award out of all of 5th grade. I did community musicals through out elementary school and middle school, as well as school musicals. When I was in school I got straight A's. But that's not what my life is all about.

In 8th grade I got mono. Through out 9th grade I went from doctor to doctor, seeking answers as to why I was still sick. In 10th grade, I was too sick to go to school, and I went across the country to Nevada and finally got a diagnosis. A few days before my 16th birthday I had my first trip to the ER where I was hooked up to morphine and fluids. A couple months later, I got a PICC line (permanent IV line) placed in my right arm so I could do IVs at home. 7 months later, I had my first surgery to have a port placed in my chest that you access with a 1 inch needle. It goes directly to my heart and is for IVs. I still have the port. Around my 17th birthday, I started having major heart problems from the Lyme. I spent several scary days through out last spring in the hospital with my heart skipping beats and my heart rate over 140 bpm all the time. Within 3 months last year, I had 2 surgeries and had 2 organs removed. My gallbladder wasn't working so that surgery was in late August. The surgeon also cut off adhesions from my liver. A couple months ago in the first week of December, I was hospitalized and then had exploratory surgery. I had appendicitis, internal bleeding, endometriosis, and a cyst the size of an orange. All of this is because of Lyme. I've spent 11 weeks across the country seeing my doctor because no one in my state will treat me. I've been to the ER over 30 times in 2 years. I've been on IVs more days than not, and taken more medicine than anyone I know. Instead of school, friends, driving, sleepovers, and normal teenage things, I'm dealing with hospitals, IVs, pain medicine, doctors, Make a Wish, staying home, low immune system, medicine, more medicine, and conversations that I shouldn't have to understand. But that's not what my life is all about.

"I am a child of God and there is nothing I can do to keep God from loving me. I exist for a purpose, to glorify God in EVERYTHING I do. In the way I talk, in the way I relate, in the way I act, in the way I love. This life will be hard but THAT'S OKAY because I have Jesus to lead me, the word of God to guide me, the church to support me, and one day, Jesus is coming back to take me home so I can BE WITH HIM FOREVER" That's what my life is about. That's what matters.

What has happened the past few years was definitely not in my plans. No one plans to be too sick to go to school and spend years doing treatments, fighting for life. I honestly never thought that I would qualify to have a wish from "Make a Wish".

But God has bigger plans for me.

'For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.' Jeremiah 29:11-14

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well." Psalm 139:14

"All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be." Psalm 139:16

"For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago" Ephesians 2:10

"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." Romans 8:28

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4

I could not think of a better way to spend the first few hours of my 18th year of life than to spend it with my church family in prayer at the 24 hours of prayer. After all, that is what my life is about. Growing closer to God and worshiping Him, and shining His light.

A lot of days I still don't understand this road that I'm called to walk. A lot of days I don't like it. But, if God calls me to this which He has, I believe He will get me through it and I'll be stronger than before.

Like the hymm says, it is well with my soul, no matter what.

"When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul."


So today I might not feel good at all. I might cry from the physical pain despite the pain medicine, like I have everyday for several weeks. But I will rejoice because I am blessed, God is still God, and He has a plan for me. A plan bigger than I can imagine.


Thank you for supporting me! I'm so blessed to know you.


"This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24

My birthday!

I had a great birthday! Thursday my grandma took me to lunch and we went to a couple stores. I got a new Bible! It is a one of a kind Bible that looks antique. I'll post a picture sometime! I got a shirt and jewelry too! I was so exhausted after that shopping. I get tired so easily...

On Friday (my actual birthday) I hung out at home all day. Several friends and I got to go out to eat! We met and my house and then rode to Bricktown (downtown) together. It's so great being able to drive! We went to Zio's for dinner. The food is amazing! At the restaurant they don't sing happy birthday so my friends decided to sing it and our waiter clapped along! After dinner we came back to my house and hung out and watched a movie. I'm so glad that we all got to hang out!! It is great to do something "normal".

These are the flowers my parents gave me! I love flowers!

I love them all!

This weekend has been hard. I was hurting so much Friday and this whole weekend. I'm still having side effects from the beta blocker. For some reason the ride side of my back is hurting so much. It started Saturday and I was able to go to church Sunday but now it is so bad. I'm not sure why.

I think I'm halfway done wearing my heart monitor!! Yay!

There is A Way by Newworldson

"You say love is just a word, just four letters in a row.
Just a thing that people say, or they never tell you so.
And you use every excuse, to let nobody in.
Now this cloud you bring around, has become your only friend.

And everybody saying that it's going to go away, but it don't go.
And everybody's telling you one day it's going to change,
but you don't know, if it's really going to end.
But there is a way, there is a spark,
there is a hope that you can hold on to.
There is a lifeline come to the rescue,
just like a hand that's waiting for you.
And if you believe in this I promise that you won't be alone.
There is a way, the truth and the life, and the way.

But if love became a man, if the word had flesh and bone.
Would you recognize His face, if He came to bring you home.
You think you're all alone, gotta do it on your own riding solo.
Is there someone you can call, when you stumble and fall?
Cause you don't know, if you'll be getting up again.

There is a way, there is a spark,
there is a hope that you can hold on to.
There is a lifeline come to the rescue,
just like a hand that's waiting for you.
And if you believe in this I promise that you won't be alone.
There is a way, the truth and the life, and the way.

Don't you think your life's worth saving?
Don't you know that love's amazing?
Don't you want to lay your troubles down?
Lay them down.

If I thought love was just a word, I might feel the same way too.
But there's so much more than that, and it's waiting here for you.

There is a way, there is a spark,
there is a hope that you can hold on to.
There is a lifeline come to the rescue,
just like a hand that's waiting for you.
And if you believe in this I promise that you won't be alone.
There is a way,
there is a way,
there is a way."

Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. John 14:6

Yesterday was history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift

Birthdays are great! For most people it is just a time for celebration. Celebrating and hoping for another great year. But sometimes a birthday means something completely different. I have been sick for 3 years. Seriously ill for over a year. The past couple birthdays have been different than the years before. It marks how long I have been sick.
Last year was my sweet 16. It was on a Thursday. Three weeks before then, I had returned home from 2 weeks of treatments in Nevada. I had spent 3 weeks in Nevada in December so I had been there for a total of 5 weeks. When I came home from Nevada, I thought I was doing great!! The pain was better and I thought I could handle the fatigue and all the other symptoms. I thought I was in remission. But over the next 2 weeks I went downhill so fast. The Sunday before my birthday was the first time I was in the hospital. I went to church that day but I wasn't doing well at all. I was in so much pain and was so weak. I couldn't handle it anymore. Going to the hospital when you have Lyme Disease is very risky. There is no telling what could happen to you. But I had no other choice. That was the first time I had been in the hospital. Ever. (ok, I was born there but that doesn't count) My mom went shopping with my aunt after church so she didn't even know I was going to the hospital. For the time being it was just me and my dad.

First we went through the admitting process. We weren't sure what we should tell them or how much to tell them. I know that sounds bad, like why would we not just tell them everything? It's such a political disease and we had no idea how bad it could get if we told them everything. I went through triage and was put in my room. We got nervous as we waited for the doctor to come. Everytime I go to any doctor, I am the most popular and changeling person there. You think doctors would know this but just because the door to my room is closed, that doesn't mean I can't hear them. I have actually gotten very good at easdropping and understanding the technical terms doctor use when they talk about me. I'm not kidding, I am always the talk of the hospital. "did you hear about the girl that has Lyme disease? She's in room 3"
That is how it goes at every appointment.

So the doctor came in and we explained what was going on. Then the best thing happened. He admitted that he doesn't know much about Lyme and he asked us what I needed. He was the best doctor because he didn't try to act like he knew everything. He became our favorite ER doctor. In the months after that when I needed to go to the hospital we would call and asked if he was there.

So we said I probably needed IV fluids and pain medicine. Up to this point, I hadn't ever had strong pain medicine. So he said he would get some nausea medicine put in right before the morphine. By that time, my mom had gotten home and called us to see where we were. She freaked out and was like she's in the hospital?! Maybe we should have called her...So she and my aunt got to the hospital just as they were starting my IV. I had the nicest nurses that night. My main nurse was so good about getting everything I needed and she became our friend. Over the months following, she some how was always working when I was in the hospital. She would come and hang out in my room and just talk. She saw the fear we had and 100% supported us. I still love seeing her when I'm at the hospital!

Last year when I was really sick and was in the hospital every week, I would see her more than I saw my friends.

They finally got my IV started and got the medicines in me. They had to give me at least another dose of pain medicine because the pain was so bad. When I could finally go home, they told me to wait for them to bring the wheelchair. I remember thinking that I could just walk out. I tried to stand up and then fell. So I decided the wheel chair would probably be a good choice.

Later that week on my actual birthday, I got my licence! It was so exciting!! We went out to dinner for my birthday that night.

Two days later, on Saturday, I ended up back in the hospital because of extreme pain. Bummer. That started my weekly hospital trips. From then on, they knew me by name at the hospital. Everytime I walk drag myself in they would greet me by name! Actually they knew me as the Lyme Disease girl. That is the hospital I had surgery at too and it's where I'll have surgery when we take my port out. I had my PICC line put in there too! Oh and I was born there! It's pretty much my third home. My second home is at church. Do you know how much time my family and I spend there? It's a lot!

This is the first time I was in the hospital

So now, remembering the past 2 birthdays is weird. I was sick for my 15th birthday too. Not extremely sick, but still sick.

Last year I remember thinking that I can't wait for my 17th birthday because I would be better! But here I am. I'm not in school, I do IVs at home, I have 10 doctors, and I'm not better. Instead of thinking about how excited that I am that I'm 17, I am reminded about how long I have been fighting this disease.

That doesn't mean I'm not excited about my birthday! I am so excited!! So instead of dwelling on what has been taken away, I'll celebrate today. Today I am alive and I am SO blessed!!!!

Thank you so much for all the encouragment.

"If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.

Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes."
Matthew 6:30-34

I'm Still Yours by Kutless

"If You washed away my vanity

If You took away my words

If all my world was swept away
Would You be enough for me?
Would my beating heart still sing?

If I lost it all
Would my hands stay lifted
To the God who gives and takes away

If You take it all
This life You've given
Still my heart will sing to You

When my life is not what I expected
The plans I made have failed
When there's nothing left to steal me away
Will You be enough for me?
Will my broken heart still sing?

If I lost it all
Would my hands stay lifted
To the God who gives
And takes away

If You take it all
This life You've given
Still my heart
Will sing to You

Even if You take it all away
You’ll never let me go
Take it all away
But I still know

That I'm Yours
I'm still Yours

Oh, I'm Yours
I'm still Yours
I'm still Yours"

Tomorrow (the day before my birthday) my grandma is taking me out to lunch! She asked what I wanted for my birthday and I said a nice new Bible, so we're going to pick out a new Bible for me!! I'm excited!