Tuesday, December 1, 2009

God's timing, not mine

This has been a hard few days..little sleep (it's 2:30 am right now and I'm wide awake...) and side effects from my new anti-seizure/sleep medicine (I'm not taking it for seizures. It's supposed to help with sleep and pain). I've been dizzy and just feel so out of it. I feel like I'm going to pass out all the time. I'm still not eating a lot which doesn't help with the lack of energy.
On Wednesday I go to my pain management doctor. They don't know that I stopped taking the medicine they put me on so that will be a nice surprise for them. Hopefully they will understand since it seemed to be causing my 140 pulse. My pulse is still 120 after being off the medicine for a week. We're waiting to hear back from my primary care doctor to see if I need to have more heart tests run and see a Cardiologist.
Quiet time with God is a hard discipline to practice. We almost always only do it when it is convenient for us. Lately, God has been requesting the 1-7 am time slot for our quiet time. I have asked Him several times if He could maybe switch times to when I can see His pretty blue sky and sun (or cloudy sky, either is great with me!), but He is sticking to the 1-7 am time slot. It is easier to hear Him and talk to Him since there are no distractions (absolutely nothing on tv, no one else on the planet awake..those kind of things) We have also had some serious conversations around 3 am when I get a little frustrated that I'm still not asleep. Maybe I should stop trying to argue with God and just "be" there, not worrying about what time it is..

I'm almost done with the video I'm making about my journey through the first year of treatment so I will post that Thursday!

This verse speaks to me a lot right now.
"Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth." Psalm 16:10

1 comment:

  1. amen sister! i was up in the early am over thanksgiving, laying on my grandparents' couch, and that was my scheduled time i guess!
    love you victor...ia :D
    love hannah