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Thursday, January 27, 2011

Things are about the same today. I wish I could say it's better, but it's not. I've been sleeping about 12-14 hours at night and I'm still so exhausted. All the pain medicine makes me pretty groggy too. Yesterday my stomach started swelling up, most likely from all the fluid and blood in my abdomen and pelvis. It's still very swollen. I took a shower today which felt really good since I hadn't showered in a while from just being too sick. I take multiple baths a day to see if that will help with the pain. Sometimes it does, sometimes it makes it worse. I'm still not okay will the "wait and see" thing that's going on, but I honestly don't know what to do about that. How can they tell me to wait for 2 weeks, when they don't know how much it hurts and how sick I feel? I don't ever want anyone to know how this feels, but I wish someone would listen and do something about it instead of sending me home. I'm trying to be tough but i'm so tired of this terrible pain! It seems like everyday it hurts a little more, but there's nothing I can do about it. I keep wanting to take myself to the ER but I don't think that will happen. I just need relief soon. Please keep praying.
Here's a song by Steven Curtis Chapman and then some Bible verses.
"This is not how it should be
This is not how it could be
But this is how it is, and our God is in control
This is not how it will be When we finally will see We'll see with our own eyes, He was always in control
And we'll sing holy, holy, holy is our God And we will finally really understand what it means
So we'll sing holy, holy, holy is our God, while we're waiting for that day
This is not where we planned to be
When we started this journey
But this is where we are And our God is in control
Though this first taste is bitter There will be sweetness forever
When we finally taste and see That our God is in control
And we'll sing holy, holy, holy is our God
And we will finally really understand what it means
So we'll sing holy, holy, holy is our God While we're waiting for that day We're waiting for that day We'll keep on waiting for that day
And we will rise
Holy, Holy, Holy
Our God is in control"
"Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will be joyful in God my Savior." Habakkuk 3:17-18
"The Lord is good,
a refuge in times of trouble.
He cares for those who trust in him" Nahum 1:7
"When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
They will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
You will not be burned;
The flames will not set you ablaze." Isaiah 43:2

3 comments:

  1. "I'm trying to be tough but i'm so tired of this terrible pain!" - you've been amazingly tough for a really really long time. Don't worry if some days it feels like too much.

    That said, I wish I could ease your pain. I hate that you hurt so much. Praying for you! xxxx

    PS - that last verse is one of my absolute favourites :)

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  2. I agree with the person above. You are and have been a super-brave girl. It's ok to be tired of being so strong! I admire and look up to you. You are awesome!

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  3. I just read your story on Lorraine's blog. Your faith is inspiring, you seem to be a remarkable person. As the other two have said, it's ok to lean on God and other people. You don't have to be strong for anyone. You'll be in my prayers.

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