I know I have mentioned this before, but it's still a big problem. Because of my really high heart rate, I was put on a beta blocker. A couple weeks after starting it, I was taken off of it. I was so dizzy and out of it and a completely different person. My cardiologist said that I can not be put on beta blockers again because I can't handle them. So I was put on a medicine that comes from some plant I think. It's a very old medicine. He assured us that I would not react to it. He obviously doesn't really know me, because I reacted to it. That is what brought me to the hospital a week or so ago. My heart was jumping around all over the place. In the hospital, my cardiologist and the on call cardiologist kept talking back and forth, along with my pain management team. The medicine that the pain management team put me on for sleep, can cause heart problems. But when I first started having heart problems in November, I stopped the sleep medicine for a couple weeks to see if that was the problem. I still had the heart problems so I started taking the sleep medicine again because it is the only thing that helps me sleep.
So while I was in the hospital, there was a lot of communication with so many groups of people causing confusion. The on call cardiologist wants me to stop my sleep medicine. The pain team doesn't want me to stop it because they know that I have to have it to sleep. The on call doctor started me on another beta blocker. Remember how I said I wasn't allowed to be on beta blockers anymore? Well this was our only choice so I started another one. Again, they assured us that I wouldn't react. They also told me to get off my sleep medicine...
Fast forward to Thursday. I could tell that my blood pressure was so low. We ignored it. Friday, we talked to my doctor in Nevada. He has been uncomfortable having me on a beta blocker because he knows my low blood pressure problem. He told us we need to get a blood pressure and heart monitor. So yesterday morning, when I took my blood pressure, we knew it wasn't good. When my blood pressure is 90/68 or so, the nurses and doctors comment on it and freak out a little since my heart rate is so high and my blood pressure is so low. Yesterday morning my blood pressure was 78/53. No wonder I felt worse than normal. Through out the day I kept checking it and it would go lower than that. I felt so bad yesterday to the point of crying all day long. Not good at all. I was really scared so we called the on call cardiologist again and he said to stop the beta blocker.
On Wednesday I am actually seeing my cardiologist so they said to just see what he would say. So we have no idea what the plan will be now. I didn't get to go to church today which makes me mad. Church is the one thing that I get to go to every week. My blood pressure is higher than it was yesterday, but still low, and my pulse is higher than yesterday. It should be an interesting week...
"I'll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness,
the taste of ashes, the poison I've swallowed.
I remember it all—oh, how well I remember—
the feeling of hitting the bottom.
But there's one other thing I remember,
and remembering, I keep a grip on hope:
22-24God's loyal love couldn't have run out,
his merciful love couldn't have dried up.
They're created new every morning.
How great your faithfulness!
I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over).
He's all I've got left.
God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits,
to the woman who diligently seeks.
It's a good thing to quietly hope,
quietly hope for help from God.
It's a good thing when you're young
to stick it out through the hard times.
When life is heavy and hard to take,
go off by yourself. Enter the silence.
Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions:
Wait for hope to appear.
Don't run from trouble. Take it full-face.
The "worst" is never the worst.
Why? Because the Master won't ever
walk out and fail to return.
If he works severely, he also works tenderly.
His stockpiles of loyal love are immense.
He takes no pleasure in making life hard,
in throwing roadblocks in the way" Lamentations 3:19-33 (the message)
The Museum - My Help Comes From The Lord
"When sorrows come and hope seems gone
You're the rock I rest upon
When waters rise and I can't breathe
You're the love that rescues me
Out of the darkness I lift up my eyes
Unto the hills I feel my faith rise
Maker of heaven, giver of life
You are my strength my song in the night My refuge my shelter Now and forevermore My help comes from the Lord
When I'm broken scarred by sin
Death gives way to life again
When I suffer when I doubt
In you I'm free in you I'm found
Maker of heaven, giver of life
You are my strength
You're my refuge
Now and forevermore"